November 07, 2005

Chapter 5: Tail-end Teenhood

Tail-End Teenhood

But first, an explanation for the tardiness of this chapter.

I had fully intended to have a chapter or three out well before this time, but you can see in the picture above just some of the factors preventing that from happening. About halfway through October I took time off to go visit my folks back in Iowa. I don't get home very often, and when I do I usually fly so I can't take a lot of the stuff I have in storage back with me. Since I had über amouts of vacation time available to me at work I decided to use some of it to go back home. My sisters Lynn and Michelle were going to be visiting at the same time (my brother lives there) so it was going to be a nice family reunion. It's a long drive, so I decided to split it up over two days (two out and another two back). Of course, I didn't plan on my car overheating on the way out. Luckily (?) it happened about 60 miles from my parent's house, so after I got a tow they were able to come pick me up. That's my folks in the second pane and my sister Michelle in the 3rd pane, from when they came out to visit me a couple years ago.

Once home, I find out my brother has finally found himself a place in town and needs to move; he's had a large (30 acres) place in the country where he's lived for the past 20 years. The place he's got in town is significantly smaller so there's a lot of packing, throwing out of crap, and more packing that needs done. My brother is also in a wheelchair (double amputee) so there's a lot of it he can't do. Guess who all got roped into helping? And my brother, being the @*#%^@$#*&#%^!@ that he is sat around and argued with people most of the time. I called work and got the ok to stay longer to help, since my sisters couldn't stay till he got everything moved (Shell had to be back to work, and Lynn needed to go because my great-neice was going to the hospital).

Now, despite all of this, I knew I should have the time to upload a chapter or two. My folks have internet (satellite connection; no broadband in town yet) so I should certainly be able to reach Blogger. In the top picture, Bimpy (the ever-hefty) is sitting on the reason why I couldn't get anything uploaded: Skippy the Emasculated Laptop. Not only did my NIC stop working so I couldn't connect to the internet, but once I managed to get all my screenshots copied over my laptop was too underpowered to run the program I storyboard my chapters on (Powerpoint, for the curious). This I didn't discover until I booted up at home to try to write some stuff. Say it with me now... oy vey. At least I got some good Might and Magic VI playing in (an old game for a wussy computer)

Needless to say, I was very glad to finally get back. The food's worse here but the internet's better and the Xion can handle any sort of program or graphic I can throw at it (like a certain MMORPG I'm alpha testing). This chapter sucks significantly compared to my previous chapters, but it had the potential to be a lame duck chapter anyway since I needed to get Salina wrapped up and headed to college. Thanks for listening to the ramble and now, on with the show!

Despite the boys being off at college, all has not been quiet in the Holldum household. Just as we predicted to Waylon not so long ago, his lovely little girl is sneaking out late at night with "that strange boy"

Fortunately, it appears that Salina has a little better luck than her older brother at avoiding the curfew cops. You would think the cops couldn't miss her in that uniform.

"Dad-deee! Kaint me 'n Euclid have a little alone time wifout you hangin' aboot? Keth ain't installed no hacks yet that'll let us do much more than this here hand holdin."

Ever the concerned father, Waylon is determined to watch over his little girl to make certain nothing happens to her (aren't all fathers like this?) Sometimes though, this concern is a little... smothering.

As for keeping an eye on Salina when Waylon's not about... a discreet, anonymous tip to the police next time Salina slips out doesn't hurt. This time one of Strangetown's finest was able to drag herself away from her coffee and donut over at Strangebuck's and actually corral the little miscreants.

But let's take a short detour from the Holldum household for just a moment. It's birthday time at the Retrorockets and the Holldums are there to see the future love of Kasson's life grow up. Cheering Euphemia into teenhood are (starting from the lower left): Genesis Lam-Retrorocket, Kasson, Gran Waters, Eugenia Deerfield (nee Retrorocket), her husband Rhys Deerfield (hidden behind Genia's thought bubble), Waylon (hanging off the left), Ajay Loner (corralled as he walked by; no one at the party knows him), Texas, Salina, Eustace Retrorocket (to Salina's right), Eugene Retrorocket, Cleveland, and finally Solemnity Retrorocket (nee Waters) to the far right. Her husband Eugene Jr is at work.

And here's the birthday girl herself. Little 'Phemey is all grown up (well, okay, teenhood) and is just as adorable -- and noseless -- as her older sister Eugenia. She and Kasson should make an awfully cute couple. See, even the cake thinks so too.

Ahhhh!!!! Make Bella stop staring at me!!11!

Ahem... in other news, Kasson and Phemey seem to be getting along smashingly. Just look at those plus signs. And Waylon's right there making sure Euclid doesn't get too close to Salina.

She's still staaarrriinnggg!!!!

Okay, so Euclid isn't a bad looking teen. There's just something... creepy... about him. He looks and acts a lot more alien than his siblings. Even his own family tends to give him a wide berth. Plus there's that whole stunt he pulled at Salina's toddler birthday.

Oh oh... what's this? Quick, where's Waylon? We have teenage fondling and groping going on. He'll want to stop... wait a minute... sorry... false alarm. Euclid was just breaking the news to Salina that he is leaving for college so he will no longer be able to be creepily obsessive over her. Well, I'm sure Waylon will be happy at the news at least.

"Mama said not ta let Daddy ketch me in this here noodlehootchie. I dunno why. It's dun helped me be an overachiever on mah very first day a' work."

Your father has a strange obsession with the noodlesoother. He thinks it's out to get him.

"Ah, is that why he's always rantin' about some 'Mr Noodle'?"

Yep, that'd be it. He also thinks "Mr. Noodle" has a secret base somewhere on the moon. One of these days all that staring through the telescope is going to catch up with him.

"Oh, I dun heard somethin' nasty happened to Mr Vidcund from peepin' thru this tellerscope all the time."

Er, yeah, well, in his case it was destined to happen.

Vanity, thy name is also Salina. Like Kasson, Salina seems to spend an inordinate amount of time checking herself out in the mirror. She has done a good job of colour coordinating her lipstick and her pjs, I think.

"When're you gonna git that there Nightlife Keth? How're'm I supposed ta find a buncha hunky beaus ta bring a sexhay babe like me lotsa gifts if ya ain't got Nightlife?"

Well, a) you're a teenager. You're not allowed to be "sexhay" yet. And b) Nightlife should be coming out about the time you're in college. Keep your grades up and I'll maybe let you out on a date or three.

"Ain't mah fault Daddy! I didn't do nuffin!"

Hmm... it would appear that someone should have been spending less time preening in the mirror and more time working on her cooking skills. At least with Salina I know that's not a lobster in the oven. Waylon's out of flame's reach down there at the end of the counters. I think maybe it's time to find something to distract her from the mirror for a while.

How convenient. Today Salina brought a new friend home from school, and she's just tickled to death about it. (Can't you tell?)

This is Cirrus (well, from this view it's actually Cirrus' backside, but anyhoo...) He's the new alien on the block and he was rather excited to discover another alien-esque student in his classes (although truthfully in Strangetown you really can't swing a dead cat without hitting an alien). He's not too sure about Salina, but she thinks he's just dreamy.

Salina really really likes Cirrus but from the look on his face, the feeling's not completely mutual. She's always got a Cirrus want spun up (surprising for a wealth sim) and right now she really wants to go steady with him. Cirrus is a knowledge sim, so he gets along quite well with Waylon (who's rather relieved that his daughter is interested in a 'nice, normal young man', even if the fellow is green)

Oh dear. From those expressions it looks like Salina's little proposal didn't go over so well. I never realized there was a "contemptuous sneer" emote in the Sims.

But a little rejection will not stop Salina from completing her appointed rounds... er... snaring her desired man. A little heavy phone work and she's pretty sure she's got Cirrus eating out of the palm of her hand.

We won't even venture into what Texas is doing with her coworker there in the background. Please Texas, this is a family game!

"Whut? I’m jes..."

I don't want to hear it Texas. Does your husband know you're 'busting moves' with your coworkers? Really.

Well, whatever Salina said to Cirrus apparently worked, although it appears that she wishes now he was a little less... enthusiastic.

It also appears that a certain sweater-vest wearing teen needs to hit the treadmill a bit. Or else Salina's hand placement is overemphasizing the size of his bum (hey, at least he doesn't wear socks with his sandals) I guess he's what they used to call a 'husky' boy.

Wuv... Twuuuu wuv. It's nice to see that all the attention Salina's been giving Cirrus is finally paying off. It was starting to get a little frustrating trying to get these two together. Being a knowledge sim, Cirrus isn't exactly the nicest or most outgoing sim on the block (unlike Salina... oy)

Okay, so maybe he's creepy in a slightly different way. This is a very common scene when Cirrus is visiting; these two can't keep their hands off each other. Fortunately, Cirrus is well liked by both Waylon and Texas (unlike Euclid) so they don't seem to mind their daughter getting in a little smooching before dinner.

Gah... get the boy started and he just doesn't stop. We know you're in love with her Cirrus, but don’t you think it's a little early to be talking getting married? If you were a family sim, I could understand the discussion, but neither of you are family sims! Thankfully Salina doesn't seem too freaked out over it.

Remember that comment about how all Waylon's star gazing was going to catch up with him? Well after returning from another long night of blowing up his lab in the Nutty Professor and Mad Scientist Brotherhood of Greater Strangetown's Secret Hideout and Sushi Bar (the NPMSBGSSHSB), Waylon thought he'd kill a little time before bedtime by searching the moon for Mr. Noodle's secret base. Something apparently want too keen on his peeping and schlorped him right up, mechanical hand and all. Salina seems to be a bit more distraught than Texas though.

"A'course not. Didint ya tell me them knowledge sims like this sorta stuff?"

Well, yes I did... But it's more that they're not quite as traumatized by the whole abduction thing...

"Aaaahhhh Daddy! I promise I'll never ever sneak out no more if'n ya just come back home"

"It's okay lil punkin. Keth says Daddy'll be commin' home inna few hours. He'll jes be a little traumerized from bein' sucked up like that."

*sniff sniff* "Okay Mama, ifin you say so."

Er... well... he'll be more than a little "traumerized"

"Yer rite Keth. He shore don' look too happy. A'course, that goin' splat on the blacktop is prolly gonna leave a mark in the mornin'."

It'll leave more than a mark. Why don't you go give Waylon a little loving? He could probably use some right now.

*muttering* "Damn you Mr. Noodle. Too cowardly to face me mano a mano, so you send your alien flunkies to threaten me. I shall not be cowed into submission! Vengeance shall yet be mine! But first, I think a cup of cocoa with little marshmallows in it is in order."

"Aw, I's so glad yer back all safe 'n sound sweetie." *SMOOCH*

*mumble* *murble* *gasp* "I am delighted you were concerned about my safe return my dear. It was truly an extraordinary experience and I am glad to be back. But darling, all this affection is keeping me from my hot cocoa, which is growing cold and preventing my little marshmallows from melting."

Someone's certainly annoyingly happy and perky this morning. Are you pondering what I’m pondering Pinky?

"My fellow scientists at the Nutty Professor and Mad Scientist Brotherhood of Greater Strangetown mentioned such bodily changes occurring after an alien abduction. I must inform my dear Texas. Having expanded my faculties to their greatest potential already, I am excited to have the chance to experience this unique..."

Ya ya ya... so you've figured out you're pregnant with a little Spaceman Spiff (or Spiffette)

"Punkin' I think you done been eatin' too many of them lil marshmallows. You done got a serious bump here."

"Darling, weren't you listening to my exposition this morning? I explained to you when I got up that during abductions, male humans are often implanted with human-alien hybrid embryos with the intention of gestating them to maturity."


He's preggo Texas. Your husband has a celestial bun in the oven... or would that be a moon pie, since it's from outer space?

"What?! You dun got yerself knocked up, Waylon?"

"Er... ah.. Yes dear."

Heh. Nice matching jammies too.

I think it's a bit early to be trying to get your child into private school Waylon, no matter how precocious you might think they are.

Waylon isn't a happy pregnant sim. His needs are always down, his mood is always red, and the only thing that keeps him going is that his perma-plat status means he can burn through energizers like a madman. Not that he remains energized for very long. I think he's just genetically destined to be bitchy when pregnant. He never lectured anyone for anything before; now he's reading the riot act to Texas because she broke the sink while she was cleaning it.

"Issok. I know he doan' mean all them nasty words he's done yellin' at me. It's just them durn whoremoans makin' him antsy."

Still, I hope that 'bitchy pregnancy' isn't something he can pass on to the kids.

*pounds head on desk* More lobster. And people are leaving more lobster on the counter. Aren't you guys sick of lobster yet?

"As a cee-leb-ree-tee chef I haf ta keep my cookin' skills top notch. Lobster's tha best way ta do dat."

But two of them Texas?

"That there one is Waylon's. He had ta use tha biffy hafway thru makin' it. That puddle over there is his cuz he didn't quite make it all da way to the bafroom."

So these are lobsters L6(W4) and L7(T3).

Have I mentioned that Cirrus comes over a lot. Really a lot. And stays, sometimes even without Salina inviting him to stay over. Not that anyone minds.

I had to stick this one in here because I'd never had two sims juggle together before.

Oh, and note the burned lobster in the background (L8,T4 even though it's a group meal) Texas made dinner because Waylon's hunger bar is in the red. He's just waking up from sleep right now (energy is red too) and hopefully he'll make it out of the food before bad things happen.

Okay, so he didn't quite make it to the kitchen before bad things happened (I feel really bad about it too... I was distracted by the juggling) Cirrus is distraught over the whole situation and Grimmy just looks peeved. Texas apparently could care less, since she's headed over to the dinner table with her lobster.


So go save your dead husband.

"Oh puh-leeze return mah pur dead knocked up bitchy husband to me. He ain't never done no one no harm. Give him a chance ta finally put tha smack-down his arch-hemenee Mr. Noodle."

"Oh very well, if for no reason other than to stop you from butchering the.. wait.. aren't you the lady chef from 'Grill of the Golden West'? Can I have your autograph? Will you sign my scythe please?"

Great. Grimmy's a fan. Oy.

And now, a brief interlude from our pregnant, half dead, bitchy mad scientist. I realized that Salina hadn't asked Cirrus to go steady yet. Like there was any question whether or not he'd say yes now, despite the green miasma of hygiene rising from her.

That position can only mean one thing: it's time for the alien population of Strangetown to increase by one. Don't look so happy about it Waylon; there are lots of women who'd disagree with you about labour being fun.


It'll all be over in a moment Texas. Waylon'll be fine.

"Yeah, but did I thrash about 'n wail like he's a doin'? Ohmagawd, I'm so hembarassed."

Well, now I know where Kasson and Salina get their vanity from.

And here's little Orrin Holldum. I've got to see if I can't hack his file to change his last name to Seavey.

"Hey, how come he gits a name that ain't part o' yer 'namin' skeem'?"

Because he's not part of your legacy, to be blunt. He's Waylon's son, but not yours so he could never the heir. It's not like we don't think he's the cutest thing since grilled cheese. And look, he's already using his mind control powers on everyone.

"Huh? Mind control? Don' let Waylon be hearin' you say stuff laik that. He'll think that his Mr Noodle done sent lil Orrin."

"What was that dear? My little Orrin is a mind control device for Mr Noodle?"

"No hun, I didn' say nuthin' like that."

"Aw, ain't that cute Daddy? He's blowin' lil spit bubbles."

::Do not underestimate the extent of my powers, girl sibling of mine. Soon you shall all be doing my bidding.::

I think it's either spit up, Salina, or he's frothing at the mouth.

*sigh* Aren't you tired of lobster yet Texas?

"Since I ain't able ta make grilled cheese fer dinner, I guess a lobster'll jes haf ta do."

I can fix that you know. I've got Nightlife.

"Whut? The lobster or the grilled cheese?"

The grilled cheese. You'll be hating life if I do it though.

Oh, and this is L9(5).

And this, folks, is why friends don't let talentless friends dance solo.

Gosh, it is time for Orrin's birthday already? Let's see what sort of toddler he grows into.

::What are you doing, you strange human? Why are you offering me this flaming, sugar covered baked good? Why is everyone staring at me? Ah, I understand. A birth-day celebration. Very well, you may all cheer me on as I progress through my age transition.::

Well, already as a toddler Orrin looks different from the other Holldums. His face is a little shorter and rounder; I'll be curious to see what he looks likes as a kid.

::What unjust treatment is this? You offer me your so-called 'birthday cake' and then after my age transition refuse to give me any, saying it will make me 'hyper'. Do not taunt me, Earthlings. Gods help you if I am ever 'hyper'.::

I do hope this is just a phase he's going through

Aw, what's with the pouty face Waylon? Orrin looks awfully cute with that hat on.

"Darling did you have to dress my son, the future genius president of the Nutty Professor and Mad Scientist Brotherhood of Greater Strangetown, in a fuzzy hat with a face on it?"

"Cuz he's a adorable lil punkin wif it on. Dat's why hun."

::I like my hat, Earth Father, and the eerie green glow emanating from the is quite soothing and reminiscent of the mother ship. Now, let us resume my lesson in your crude vocal language.::

"Ya know Orrin. Fer a cute lil bugger yer kinda strange. Not Euclid type creepy strange but jes weird strange. Jes what was it that sucked Daddy up in that there flyin' saucer? I think Mama mayha bin rite in thinkin' that that Mr Noodler what Daddy keeps ravin' about had sumthin' ta do wit it."

::Place me back in my sleeping receptacle quickly woman. You are far too close to discovering the truth.::

"Whee! Upsa baby!"

::Be thankful that the free and open ceilings of our parents' residence prevents you from slamming me repeatedly into the ceiling. Now, toss me higher or I shall spit up all over you.::

::Yes yes Earth servant. Bring me my nourishment in the vessel with the rubber nippy-top. None of that gruel the gray-haired crone feeds me when forces me into that hideous high chair. When I am finished, you may have the privilege of changing my nappy. The green miasma tells me it is past time.::

The time has finally come for Salina to head off to college. Due to that rabbit-head glitch as a toddler, she's been maxxed in all her skills for ages so scholarships were no issue for her. Cirrus was visiting (who's surprised at that?) and rushed off to wave her good-bye.

Waylon met her at the dorm for the cinematic. He's met all 3 of the kids for the cinematic; I was hoping Texas would be there for at least one of them.

Once we got Cirrus home, it was time to ship him out to college to follow Salina. I'm not sure what's going on with that ear thing; it's not like the taxi is that loud or anything.

Well, everyone's off to college and we've got Nightlife now... so let's see what sort of mayhem Texas's kids can cause when we let them loose at La Fiesta Tech.>

Stay tuned...

Onward to Chapter 6a: Dorm Life

Back to Chapter 4: The Turbulent Teenhood of Cleveland A Holldum