Chapter 34: In Progress

We Join This Honeymoon Already In Progress



Despite several relaxing days at the Twikkii Beach Hotel, the honeymooners decided to pack up and look for greener pastures, claiming the Hotel had too much of a commercial feel and not the native island aura they were after.

That and the lot was lagging like a @*%^#. I figured either the lot was glitched or there were too many NPCs running about. Damn tourists. Either way a new, smaller hotel would keep me from beating my head on the keyboard.

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The Twikkii Tikkii Beach Resort, while smaller, had the island ambiance the happy couple was looking for in spades. It also had an open air restaurant for dining al fresco and, for those residents intimidated by the gentle rolling waves of the Twikkii surf, a swimming pool tucked away beneath the palms. And...

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Most importantly of all, it had a vacancy.

"Yo, dude. Do you have, like, a honeymoon suite or something?"

"Of course sir. What sort of island resort would we be if we didn't?"

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"So... um... how many times do I like have ta sign this one?"

"Pardon me sir?"

"Well at the last place we stayed I had to sign in like three or four places. Of course, I have to sign stuff three or four times at work too. Totally gives me writers cramp. Being Mayor is the suk job somedays"

"I assure you sir, one signature is enough here."

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While Kasson and the hotel clerk argued over what he needed to sign and where he needed to sign it, SK headed outside to do some digging in her quest for a lost map. Like so many tourists, she'd heard rumours of a mysterious hut hidden in the depths of the island, and she was hoping for a chance to be the first to discover it.

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After he got things squared away, Kasson came out to try his hand at a little beachcombing, only to discover one of Twikkii Island's unadvertised wonders of nature: Hail.

Lots of Hail.

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And I mean a frickin' lot of hail. In an effort to hopefully escape the deluge of painful precipitation, Kasson and SK headed out to a local pirate-themed tourist trap, er beach and boardwalk....

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Where the hail just kept up.

"Ow! Babe! It hurts!"

Then get inside somewhere. Sheesh.

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And to prove that our sims don't have the sense the gods gave the goose, everyone stood around outside in the hail, whining and covering their heads. I'm really surprised no one died; it hailed Forever. It started about 11 am and was still going strong about 2-3 in the afternoon. Needs were plummeting into the red...

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But finally I was able to convince some folks to get under some shelter and support the local economy in the process. Really SK. Kasson I expect to stand around in the hail like the clueless schmuck he is, but you... I expected more.

"Do you have any more of these cheesy mini palm trees? Your display is out."

Ignoring me eh?

"Yep."

*sigh*

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Once the Icy Death from Above stopped falling, SK decided to indulge her inner pirate and explore the ancient relic beached upon the shore.

"Don't you mean the 'derelict ship the Twikkii Island Visitor's Bureau hauled up on the beach as a tourist trap'?"

No, I mean the haunted pirate ship that ran aground during a storm.

"Haunted my ass."

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Sheesh, can't you get in the spirit of things? Yo ho ho and all that? See, Kasson's getting into it.

"Arr, I be Lanky Kass, Capt'n of the Llama's Bilge."

Er... okay, let's not get into it quite as much as Kasson, but maybe give it a little try? Hoist the colours or something?

"All right, I'm hoisting, I'm hoisting."

And explain to Kasson, ah, Lanky Kass there that this is the Llama Queen, not the Llama's Bilge. Ew.

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Sadly though, SK had issues getting comfortable with her inner pirate. Kasson, on the other hand...

"Take that ye scurvy dog!"

"Aaaah! This board is wobbly!"

Um... that's the point of it. Boy, for being on your honeymoon you sure aren't enjoying things. If the plank is too unstable for you why don't head for firmer ground.

"Sounds like a good idea."

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Er... I don't think the crow's nest qualifies as 'firmer ground', although if you fall out you will find out exactly how firm that ground below you is.

"With the railing here I'm quite fine. And I'm the only one up here so no one can elbow me over the edge."

Speaking of being alone... where's your husband?

"Captain Lanky took the Visitor's Bureau story about this ship being haunted a little too seriously..."

Oh no... tell me he didn't...

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"Yep. He went looking for ghosts."

And found them, naturally. Maybe I should look into getting him a van and a dog.

"Yoinkes!"

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Meet the real captain of the Llama Queen, Percy McEyepatch.

"That be McAiden."

McAiden, McEyepatch... just be thankful the Visitor's Bureau doesn't advertise you as Twikkii the Kidd.

"Aye, that would be right embarrassing. As if having me eternal slumber disturbed by meddling kids every ship's bell weren't bad enough. Be there no real pirates about these days?"

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How about one who can at least claim to be descended from a real pirate. Yep, Kasson can claim the infamous (or at least periodically fear-inducing) pirate captain Catcham Holldum as an ancestor... assuming Texas has been telling the truth all these years.

"I be recalling Captain Catcham and he did be a right terror, on occasion. And ye be tellin' me both ye and yer mum be kin o' his? Grill o' the Gold'n West be a far cry from a proper ship's name. And how did ye end up bein green? I dinna recall Catcham ever being seasick when he was on the account."

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At this point SK stepped in to explain to the bemused McEyepatch...

"McAiden."

...about how Captain Catcham was apparently caught by some aliens who bestowed up on him a little booty of their own.

"Well that be explainin' why he gave up the pirating life for so long. Here we were thinking his crew gave him the black spot and marooned him somewhere. Seein as how ye have a right proper pirate as kin and all, I be having a little something for ye."

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"By the gods... please tell me you're not letting him learn..."

The sea chanty? Yes, and I'll probably be hating life for ages afterwards. The damn thing is more infectious than the frickkin' chest pound.

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"Maybe if I distract him before he gets it learned, he'll forget how to do it."

Well...

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It's not like it takes much to distract Kasson.

Of course, they do this all the frackin' time on their own.

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Captain McEyepatch was apparently a popularity sim when he was alive. After unleashing his viral plague of Sea Chantyitis on an easily addicted populace, he went around "pointy fingering" everyone on the pirate ship.

"What aspiration did ye be thinking we pirates be?"

Wealth, actually.

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As the night wore on, it became apparent that Kasson had a little too much Captain in him (someone didn't hide the rum well enough I guess)

I forsee someone wanting to be an ice space pirate when he gets home.

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Okay guys, while I'm happy to see that SK is finally getting into the piratical mood, all this Arring and Yo Ho Hoing is starting to annoy me.

Besides Kasson, SK is probably going to get tired of you bossing her around pretty soon and go all Anne Bonny on you.

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Kasson and SK moved down the beach a ways and found another stretch of boardwalk. As SK gravitated to the food stall, Kasson's attention was caught by the fire dancer down by the shore. Even though the dancer made it seem effortless...

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Kasson discovered it wasn't as easy as it looked.

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And SK learned that fire dancing wasn't the only thing with a trick to it.

"Gah, are you sure I'm doing it right?"

No, I'm not. But I'm sure your native friend there will be happy to give you some pointers. Just stay way from the Burke wanna-be back in the corner there.

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"Like why isn't this dude giving me pointers? I could totally be doing it wrong and never know."

Probably because, like you, this dude doesn't know how to do the gesture either. Talk to the native Twikkiians if you want an expert Hang Looser.

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The next day was rather rainy and dreary, so SK tried to sleep in a little bit. It wasn't long, though before Kasson was yelling for her from the beach. It seems he finally found her a little something while he was digging in the sand.

"My map! He found my map!"

That he did. Now go get dressed and you can check it out.

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Not like they paid too much attention to what they found when they followed the map. Sheesh. Pull yourselves off each other and give the poor witch doctor a hand.

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"Hi, I'm SK. Looks like you're having some serious mechanical problems around here."

"I am indeed. I could use a skilled repairperson for few hours to help put things right."

"Well, I'm not maxxed out in it, but I have a few points. Enough to unclog the toilet after Kasson visits at least. Plus if Keth ever installs Free Time here I'll probably end up with Tinkering as my One True Hobby... since all her sims seem to end up with Tinkering or Cuisine as their OTH."

"Er... I'll take your word that you are skilled enough to be able to assist me."

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At least SK wants to help the poor witch doctor... unlike some other visitors. Nice to see you've got that "Hang Loose" gesture down there Kasson.

"Duuuuuude"

Just get yourself into the bathroom and fix that plumbing.

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Hopefully SK's mechanical skills are high enough that she can work on Mr. Washie without issue. It would be a rotten end to the honeymoon if the bride electrocuted herself. As it is, she's going to pull a muscle if she keeps contorting herself into odd positions to work on the appliances. Hmm... it's probably a good thing that Kasson's sequestered off in the bathroom, or we'd never get any work out him. *snicker*

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Speaking of our sequestered subject, it took him a little while to wrangle the tub under control. I do hope you're going to clean up after yourself there Kasson.

"Razzafrazzinblanketyblankblank plumbing."

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Eventually the mediocre skills of our visitors won out and all was restored to working order in the witch doctor's hut. And this is where things started to go wrong. The Witch Doctor took his own sweet time ambling back into the hut to give SK a special "thank you" gift; when he did finally get there, she couldn't be bothered to get off the couch fast enough to accept it. After that, no matter what I did he would just not queue it back up.

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Finally I decided to have SK and Kasson head back to the hotel. They still had one full day left before they had to headed back to Strangetown, so I figured I would have them skip a tour and head back to try again. Luckily, as they were heading out, the Witch Doctor realized what was going on and queued things up again. I interrupted SK before she could head off lot.

"I wonder if I could get one of those masks for Kasson to wear. It might be fun."

*headdesk*

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"Ooo, for me? A present? Is it a mask like yours?"

"Er... ah... no... this mask is available only to an elite brotherhood of shamen, mages, witch doctors, and folk with similar pursuits. While I do not doubt you are a capable woman, I do not believe you are a member of such a fellowship... at least I have not seen you at our bingo nights. What I do have for you, however, is an item that only members of these mystical organizations normally use. I feel you will use it shrewdly and wisely, for I sense the eyes of a higher power are upon you."

"You could say that."

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"Wow. Thanks! It may not be a mask, but those hints at mystical power make it sound pretty cool. I'd hug you, but Kasson is still on the lot and he'd probably get a little worked up about it."

"You are most welcome. Just... don't try using it on me. You won't like the repercussions and I'm still smarting from the last time someone tried it."

"Ah... gotcha..."

So SK took her Mr Mickles and high-tailed it back to the resort.

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For their last day on the island, Kasson and SK decided to take it easy and enjoy hanging out at the Twikkii Tikkii. Kasson figured he'd catch a few rays, since SK had such good luck tanning earlier.

"But will I really tan Babe?"

I don't know... I've never had anyone with an S5 (alien) skintone try it. I guess we'll find out.

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While Kasson was soaking up the sun, SK decided to learn the fire dance from the itinerant fire dancer who had set up his mat on the beach that morning.

Please tell me you're not heart farting Goopy-Of-The-Islands.

"I... ah... just love the way he teaches. I'm really picking this up quick."

Sure you are.

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Oh hey! I guess sims with the alien skin tone can tan. Most of the time anyway. *chuckle*

"Yeah Babe, but like how does it look?"

I'm sure SK will love it.

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So after spending most of the day baking in the sun and playing with fire, the tanned-and-happy couple decided to take a quick dip in the ocean...

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Followed by a quick shower and then a candlelit dinner at the resort's al fresco cafe. A light tropical rain started shortly after they placed their order, but they didn't let it put a damper on their evening.

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"So Kasson... once we're back home, do you think She will leave us alone and let us be a normal couple for a while?"

"I don't know babe, but you know we totally won't have no privacy as long as we're living with the Mom-babe. But I'm so on the ball there; I've like found us an awesome little townhouse downtown."

"Er... I don't know if that'll stop Her, but it'll help."

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As the drizzle continued, the couple enjoyed a hearty dinner of local seafood...

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and followed it up with dessert on the tiki torch lit balcony of their suite.

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Ah, the last night in their tropical Twikkii paradise. Tomorrow they board SimAir for the long flight back to Strangetown with its randy elders, romancing teens, vampires, werewolves, college kids with delusions of overlordom, and more aliens than you can shake a stick at.

If they knew what was good for them, they'd buy a stretch of sand and take up the life of a beach bum. *snicker*

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"Good Morning Mr. Holldum. I was beginning to wonder if we would need to send another wake up call to your room. While we appreciate our guests staying as long as possible, we do prefer a little notice before a late checkout."

"Er... ah... like totally sorry about that dude. We were like so tuckered out last night we completely forgot to set the alarm. Oh and my babe is running a little late, but she should be packed up and down shortly."

"The airport shuttle will be here soon. If you could sign the check out Mr. Holldum. Please."

"Like how many times?"

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And shortly after Kasson and the resort concierge agreed on just how many signatures the check forms needed, the airport shuttle duly arrived. Someone obviously enjoyed his time in the islands.

"Duuuuuuddde."

So where's Mrs. Sleepy Pants? Shouldn't she be down here by now?

"She's coming. Like I said, she was totally tuckered out last night and there like wasn't any complimentary coffee in the suite this morning. She's so having problems gettin going this morning."

Oh she is, is she?

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Heh. Well, I suppose that explains volumes. *snicker*

Hurry up and get moving. The shuttle bus is waiting.

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"Kasson, move over. You're hogging the seats."

"You can sit on my lap babe."

*sigh* Next stop, Strangetown. And who knows what's been going on there since you two have been gone.

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