Chapter 20: Cleveland Talks

Cleveland Talks

So Cleveland, we haven't heard from you much of late. You've been terribly quiet. Before we launch full-bore into following up the last chapter, how about a little insight into what's been up for you?

"Just trying to adjust to life as a vampire. Even without the blood drinking and night stalking, it tends to cause you to rethink your philosophy of life. Once you come to grasp with the whole concept of never aging and never dying, you start to look at things a little differently."

I can certainly understand that. How about the rest of the family then? We just had a couple birthdays not too long ago.

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"Treynor's been growing by leaps and bounds. It seems he's all over the place and into everything now."

I noticed. I had pics somewhere of him learning all his toddler skills. I'm not sure where they disappeared to though.

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"Yeah, I'm beginning to wish we'd never taught him how to walk. If he's not in the dog food, he's playing in the toilet. We finally had to put a baby gate up to keep him out of the bathroom."

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Hmm... it would appear that someone forgot to latch the gate. Sorry about that Ripp. There's another biffy upstairs though.

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"Omaha's been great with helping out though. I was concerned that she might be too hung up on boys now that she was in high school to care about doing family things. But she just adores her little brother."

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"Father's always horsing around with Treynor too. Unlike Mother, he doesn't keep dropping not so subtle hints about wanting more grandchildren."

I'm sure your brother appreciates that. How are the elder Holldums doing?

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"To watch them carry on, you'd never realize they're both in their seventies. They're both working full time still and Mother puts in an appearance from time to time at the new Grill of the Golden West that opened up down in the Strangetown Urban Complex."

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"Father is starting to slow down a little bit I've noticed. He's not quite as coordinated at the fishing hole as he used to be. He's turned to more literary pursuits of late."

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"He's started writing up his memoirs. He keeps talking about 'publishing the truth about Mr. Noodle so that future generations will be prepared'. I'm not sure if people believe him, but his books are doing as well on the SimCity Bestseller chart as Mother's cookbooks"

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"I am a tad concerned that age is beginning to have an effect on his and Mother's faculties, however. Father's seemed a little absent-minded of late."

I think that's part of being a mad scientist. You know, that whole 'absent-minded professor' stereotype.

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"Mother's been a bit forgetful though too."

Cleveland, did you forget that Texas has no shame? And with as often as those two are going at it, I'm surprised this hasn't happened more often. It's a good thing you don't have a hot tub yet or you guys would be seeing a lot more nakee elder action. Hmm... maybe I'll have to get you guys one.

"Please. No."

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"Unlike Father, Mother doesn't seem to be slowing down at all. She loves putting in time down at her restaurant. The couple times I've dropped by, she's been all over the place, talking to patrons, showing off the special of the day, lending a hand in the kitchen or serving."

She's a popularity sim. She's in heaven, interacting with all those others.

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"Still, I do wish she'd take some time away from her Yummy Channel obligations to spend some time with the rest of us. Everyone's growing older so quickly."

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More of those 'vampire alternate viewpoint' realizations?

"As I mentioned, I've been looking at things a lot differently of late."

Well speaking of growing up and growing older, how's Omaha handling being a teen?

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"She's definitely boy-crazy. Her mother took her shopping so she could completely re-do her room. She took down all her fantasy princess posters and replaced them with a host of shaggy-haired boy-band members."

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"It seems every time I turn around, there's a new boy wandering around underfoot, swooning over Omaha. But, knowing you, you'll want to do a whole chapter on her."

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Yeah, I think we'll save Omaha's romantic exploits for a new chapter.

And speaking of romance, how's married life been treating you?

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"Ah... er... there hasn't been much on the romance front for me. Shelby and I have really been drifting apart since Treynor was born."

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Ah, that bites Cleveland. Sorry about that. What's been going wrong?

"She's been obsessed with her career lately. With getting promoted and climbing the corporate ladder."

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"It seems like all she talks about anymore is money, her job, her coworkers, what she needs to do to advance or get a bonus. I'll admit, I've occasionally wondered just what lengths she would go to to get ahead at work."

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"I commented about it to Kasson once, and he tried to tell me I was right. That she was playing the field and using her feminine charms on her superiors to score a new position. I didn't believe him, of course. I can't image Shelby being that obsessed with wealth and power and status that she'd sleep with someone just to get ahead."

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"But I'll admit, just toying with the thought did throw more stress into my already busy life. I was so close to a promotion of my own. I was a mess of frayed nerves from work and these little hints of infidelity didn't help my mood."

[Yes, Cleveland did lecture poor Xavier the maid one morning. I'm not sure if Xavier managed to break something, if he just wasn't cleaning things up to Cleveland's HCCD standards, or if the gloves just finally set Cleveland off.]

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"I really need to take some time off to relax. I'm getting almost as bad as Kasson is about Keth. I'm starting to imagine that everywhere I turn there are guys getting hot and bothered over Shelby. I mean really."

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"I've never seen anything that would cause me to think Shelby was ever anything but faithful to our wedding vows. I'm just paranoid from stress."

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Yeah, that's definitely not the face of a happy vampire.

"Evil Daystar!"

Yeah, well, that daystar doesn't seem to be bothering you as much as usual...

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Could it be because someone's feeling a little platinumy today? Criminal Mastermind, eh? I guess that explains all the handcuffs in conversation lately. I still swear you Holldums are a little on the kinky side. Not that that's bad or anything.

[Want to see the full, non fuzzy version of the pic? Click on the picture and the big 1024 version should launch in a new window.]

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"It seemed one of the better long term careers for a vampire. Good nighttime hours, potential for unlimited power and influence."

And the cool uniform.

"Yes, well..."

Chicks dig the uniform.

"Anyway, all this reminiscing has worn me out. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to catch a little sleep. It wouldn't go well for the new Director of the Criminal Underworld to be falling asleep on his feet during his first day on the job."

Sure thing Cleveland. You go snag forty winks and we'll pick things up with you later.

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Besides, we need to find out how the littlest overlord has messed things up this time.

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Oh, and I suppose we might want to clear a few things up with these two as well.

Are you ready? Let's pick this party up and head over to La Fiesta Tech.

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