Holldum Interview

Grill the Holldums

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** The Grill of the Golden West restaurant may be closed, but there is plenty of activity inside. Cleveland and Kasson are rearranging chairs, booths, and tables while Texas supervises. Omaha is talking animatedly on the phone with some boy. After a few minutes the door opens and the Cham Annya Hoh members appear; Salina, Cirrus, Euphemia, and Orrin walk in and greet the rest of the Holldums.**

Salina: So why is we here agin Mama?

Texas: Some reporter done wants ta interview us.

Salina: But why all of us? Ya'lls the ceelebritee Mama.

Texas: Apparently Keth done has somethin' ta do with it, which is why they done want to talk to all of us.

** The door to the restaurant opens then and a line of people begin to enter: A man, a woman with a clipboard, another man, Keth, and then two more men. The first three men are well built, clad in black suits with dark glasses and earpiece communicators. The woman is also clad in a neat black suit with dark glasses. Keth is dressed, well, like Keth. She gestures to the fourth man (who is also dressed casually) and he walks across the room and takes up a position behind the bar. She follows him, ignoring the curious look from the rest of the Holldums, then hops up on a barstool and spins around to face the rest of the room. Kasson watches her for a few moments with a confused look on his face. The three remaining men arrange themselves around the other woman as she pulls up a chair and makes herself comfortable.**



Reporter: Thank you Mrs. Holldum for agreeing to this interview today. And we are especially grateful to the rest of your family for agreeing to join you.

Texas: Ain't no problem. Keth asked if we'all would be willin ta do a little interview fer her. She ain't in no sorta trouble is she Miss... ah...?

Reporter: Simm. Ms. M. Simm. And no, Kethwyn is not in any trouble at all. Please everyone, be seated so we can get started.

** Everyone takes a seat and gets comfortable. At the bar, the bartender pours Keth a large margarita. She smiles back at him.**



Ms. Simm: Let me make certain I know everyone here. Texas, your sons Cleveland and Kasson are here, along with your daughter Salina and granddaughter Omaha. Your husband's son Orrin is also here. Salina is accompanied by her fiancé Cirrus and her house sister Euphemia.

Texas: Yep, I think that's all of us.

Ms. Simm: Where is your husband Waylon?

Texas: He done stayed at the house ta look after mah only granson, Treynor. **Texas glares first at Kasson, then Salina, then back at Kasson. Salina smiles brightly and squeezes Cirrus' hand. Kasson looks uncomfortable and glances away.**

Ms. Simm: I see. Couldn't his mother, Shelby, have stayed with him instead. Or perhaps the nanny?

** Cleveland raises a hand ** Um, Shelby is at work. Again. Still. And Father didn't feel right leaving Treynor under the care of the nanny.

Orrin: As well he should. Those nannies aren't to be trusted!

**Keth leans back and whispers to her bartender "Someone had nanny issues growing up". He chuckles. Orrin glares at her from across the room. The reporter scribbles something on her clipboard.**

Ms. Simm: I have a number of questions here posed by various members of a nearby neighborhood. But first the big question. What is it like having Kethwyn as your chronicler?

**Everyone blinks and looks surprised a moment.**

Texas: Well, since she's done been around forever I don't rightly know what it'd be like if she weren't here. It's kinda like havin' yer bested buddy watchin' yer back all the time.

Cleveland: **nodding** She lets us make our own way through life, mostly, even if it means we encounter a few bumps in the road. I've read about other families encounters with their Sim-Deity in SimLegacy Monthly, and I'm happy that as Mouse Mistress Keth is much less... um... bloodthirsty than some others.

Kasson: Wait. So you are The Babe, and Keth ain't you?

Keth: Cleveland explained this to you once. Keth is an avatar of me. We're similar, but separate. I can speak through her if I want to, she can go around town and give a unique perspective on things, but she isn't me and I'm not her. She's quite her own person.

**Kasson seems to be thinking on this. Ms. Simm gestures to Salina**

Salina: She done makes sure everything works out, or else she's awful sorry if she cain't make it that way.

Euphemia: Sometimes she's a bit blunt, and often it gets worse before she can make it better. But she's okay I guess. She found me Vasyl, so...

**Orrin rolls his eyes** I can't believe you are describing the same person. The woman is a termagant! She's always demanding this and insisting on that. Run on that treadmill. Stick your head in and repair this trash compactor. Use this telescope until you get abducted by those aliens. And you people like having her around? Peering over your shou...

**Keth sighs loudly. He crosses his arms over his chest and turns to glower at her. She takes a sip from her drink before speaking.** Orrin, you're not a child any more. I can package you up and ship you off to EO at any time, without a second thought. I already did it to Keth.

What?!! **Kasson bolts out of his seat and stares at her. Keth nonchalantly buffs her nails on her shirt.**

Ms. Simm: Councilman Holldum, please take your seat. I still have a long list of questions to cover. **Kasson sits back down, a distressed look still on his face. Ms. Simm flips a page on her clipboard.**

Ms. Simm: Our first question is for you Texas, and was posed by The EO herself. **Orrin blanches and looks uncomfortable** She asks "I've always wanted to try one of those Noodlehootchies, where exactly DO you buy those??"

Texas: Well if'n I remembers right, Waylon done brought the first one home with him from that research lab he wuz applyin' fer a job at. Mah friend Circe done told him about the place. He was doin' some artist stuff cuz Keth wanted ta git us a camera, but he weren't real happy about it. Circe told him this here lab was hirin' an' that they might have some gadgets that could help him wit' his current job. I don't think he's ever done brought home more than one of them noodlehootchies from the place though. They jes seem to multiply by themselves. An' whenever there is more'n a couple of 'em, tha others seem ta disappear durin' the night. The remainin' ones seem bigger and happier when that happens too. It's kinda creepy.

**Orrin looks like he is about to say something, then stops.**

Ms. Simm: Would you like to add something, Orrin?

Orrin: No, no I would not. I have no desire to spend the next three hours on the treadmill.

Keth: Smart boy.

Ms. Simm: Our next question comes from Captain A: "Texas, I've always wondered what it was about you that Waylon found so enticing ... you guys obviously come from two
different SimWorlds. What is it about you that he's attracted to?"

**Texas blushes** Well, I wuz a real popular gal at Highmeadow Community College where I was a goin' ta school. I had lotsa beaus but I'd never really even talked much ta Waylon. I'd asked him ta help me wit' my research paper a couple times an' we talked in the caff-er-teary-ah when we was eatin' dinner but I never done paid much attention to him. Then one night I was a soakin' in tha hot tub and I felt that someone was a watchin' me. I looked up an' there was Waylon, waitin like he had somethin' ta tell me. So I hauled myself up outta the tub and as soon I as was shook off he done started singin' ta me. **Texas smiles and gets dreamy eyed** I tell ya, mah heart jes melted right there. I ain't never looked at another man since. I dunno what it was about me back in school that done made him fall head over heels for me. My friend Amarillys was more into book-learnin' than I was, so ya'd think a book worm like Waylon would be more interested in her. A'course my other friend Ramses was always right there bein' sweet with her so that might be why Waylon weren't too keen on her.

**Keth takes a swallow from her drink and raises her hand. Ms. Simm nods for her to speak** Honestly, I can't explain Waylon's attraction either. This was before Nightlife so some of the attraction rules may have been a bit different. According to Nightlife rules, they've got an attraction difference of like 24 (0 being good, 50 being bad), so they're kinda neutral there. Texas is a Libra, and Libras have the hots for Virgos, which is what Waylon is. Why am I not surprised that Mr. Neatnik is a Virgo? anyway, Virgos are neutral towards Libras. Finally knowledge sims are neutral towards popularity sims, but popularity sims actually don't find knowledge sims attractive. So I honestly can't explain it, but who am I to argue with Love? These two have been crazy about each other from the start. I don't think I have a more affectionate couple anywhere in the game.


**Kasson looks visibly shaken** Popularity sims don't like knowledge sims?

**Ms. Simm looks at Keth** Is there a problem here?

**Keth shrugs** Strangetown Keth is a knowledge sim. He's popularity. Anyway, next question please. **Keth gestures to the bartender, who leans close and refills her drink**

Ms. Simm: This question is also from The EO: "Texas, what is your favorite food on the Grill of the Golden West Menu?"

Texas: Oh, that one's durn easy. While I do be liking may ribs, I have ta be sayin' my favorite item on any menu is grilled cheese. Have I done told ya about my Grand Unification Grilled Cheese Theory?

Ms. Simm: Perhaps another time Mrs. Holldum. We have several more questions.

Texas: Ah durn.

Ms Simm: Salina and Euphemia, this next question is for you, from WOOTO. She asked: "I admire your attire. Have you ever wore a leather outfit like mine? How do you deal with the squeaking boots? It's really hard to tip toe on these marble halls...and the boob-chaffing...Anyways, just thought I'd ask since we both show a lot of leg." **Ms. Simm holds up a picture of WOOTO taken while EO was SOTW**

**Salina looks a little embarrassed** I, ah, ain't worn nothing like that before, but I do know whatcha mean about tiptoein' about. Yeah, it's real hard ta be sneaky in my getas, even on tha carpet. I mean, it ain't like I'm a ninja or somethin'.

Euphemia: Same here. While I haven't ever worn an outfit like that, the chafing I am familiar with. My outfit does tend to ride up in the wrong places at the wrong time. And these big red Xes taped on my fronts aren't just for show. But leather oufits? Nope.

Salina: But what about that time when you and Kasson were still dating and you surprised him with that little black strappy outfit from...

**Euphemia's eyes get big and she makes hushing motions at Salina. Kasson makes a strangled sound and buries his face in his hands. Keth snickers. Ms. Simm shrugs**

Ms. Simm: Moving on then. Another question from The EO: "I would like to know if The Yummy Channel is grooming Omaha to fill her Grandmother's shoes when she passes on."

Omaha: Gramma! I thought you done told me them Yummy folks had quit askin' 'bout that when ya told 'em I done told ya I don' wanna nothing ta do with it.

Texas: I don't plan on stoppin doin' mah show fer a long long time punkin'. We's got plenny of time to decide if'n yer gonna take it over.

**Ms. Simm nods** Euphemia, I know a while ago there was some debate over your natural eye color. You've been seen with both natural human and extraterrestrial eyes. Is this your natural color, the alien color?

**Euphemia grins** Contacts!

Ms. Simm: I see. The best of both worlds. I have a series of questions for Orrin now.

**Orrin looks up startled**

Ms. Simm: First, Lisa asks: "When will you be Evil Overlordish enough to make Keth write more about you?"

Orrin: Evil Overlordish enough? I am always exceptionally Evil Overlordish. She should be writing about my exploits constantly but she's been getting strange enjoyment out of all these... photoshoots... she's been doing the past week or so. I can only hope when all of this hullabaloo is over she can return to properly documenting my rise to power over this land. I'm certain that it will not take long, once I can rid myself of these... family sim... urges. **Keth snickers again**

Ms. Simm: Hmm, that also appears to answer my next question for Orrin, which was "Can we expect a galactic seize by his home planet any time soon?"

Orrin: Pfft. I will be seizing this planet, not anyone else.

**Ms Simm ignores him and flips the page on her clipboard** Last question for Orrin. This one is from The EO: "How does someone as exceptional as himself managed to keep his sanity while being forced to dwell with such mortals?" **Orrin looks extremely uncomfortable suddenly. Ms. Simm raises an eyebrow** Is there a problem Orrin?

**Orrin runs a hand through his hair** I... ah... prefer to skip this question, if possible. I did... ah... call the poser of the question a poseur at one point.

**Keth sighs yet again** Just answer the frelling question Orrin.

**Orrin glares** Fine. The answer is, it's damned hard to stay sane regardless of whom I am dwelling with when I have to deal with controllers such as yourself. It is only by the mental skills of my superior intellect that I am able to maintain some level of sanity. I can only hope that my time in college will go swiftly so I can escape from your string pulling.

Keth: You're a player sim Orrin. I'll always have control of you. Unless EO requests you, of course.

Orrin: You wouldn't dare.

Keth: If she wants you? In a heartbeat. **Keth cackles** Heck, there are several people interested in your... unique... view on life. I could happily clone you and pass you around.

Orrin: I hate you. **Orrin gets to his feet, storms across the room and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.**

Ms. Simm: Well, I guess it's good that I have no more questions for him. Cleveland, you've been quiet this whole time. This next question is for you. "You don't seem to complain much about being a vampire. Do you find it an inconvenience? And have you ever wanted to vamp a family member? If so? Who?"

Cleveland: Well, don't tell Keth this but...

Keth: Cleveland, I'm right here. There's no way I can't hear what you're about to say.

Cleveland: Ah. Okay. Um. Well, after meeting Carla I was intrigued by the vampire lifestyle. It was exotic, different. I was thrilled when Carla turned me. We Holldums are night owls normally so it wasn't that great of a hindrance. It's only taken a couple small adjustments in order to lead a normal life, and I've got a nice night job. As for putting the bite on a family member, that's only happened once, when I was at school. I'm still apologizing for it.

Keth: Oh yes, I remember that incident. Lemme find it. It's in Chapter 6d. **Keth thumbs a stack of papers** Here it is: "Cleveland's aspiration was starting to tank because all his wants were focused around biting people (and all his fears around passing out, which was happening a lot). He wanted to chomp a relative and... well... Kasson had night class. After she recovered from her little breakdown, we called the gypsy for a little vamprocillin, bought Salina some foliage, and sent her upstairs for a little make out session with Cirrus. She was all better by the next morning."

Kasson: Babe! You almost let him bite me?!

Salina: Wait, I was your second choice to bite?!

**Cleveland looks sheepish** I'm sorry, really. I've gotten much better at controlling my urges. **Kasson sighs. Salina snorts**

Ms. Simm: I have another question here from...

Cleveland: Ms. Simm, may I say something?

Ms. Simm: Yes Cleveland.

Cleveland: Since you seem to be in contact with a number of people, can you please pass on to the Captain my thanks to her for not continuing on with the restraining order. Veronica didn't know that she had a copyright or somesuch on the name "Clevey-Baby"

**Ms. Simm chuckles quietly** I'll do that Cleveland. As I was saying I have another question from WOOTO. She asks: "If a piano fire suddenly happened in your house...who would you wish was sitting at the piano at the time? This question should be answered by all in attendance!!"

Texas: Vidcund

Cleveland: Vidcund

Kasson: Vidcund

Omaha: Vidcund

Euphemia: Vidcund

Salina: Vidcund

Cirrus: Euclid

Salina: Cirrus!!

Euphemia: Cirrus!!

Cirrus: Well he DID kill me!

**Cirrus, Salina, and Euphemia continue to argue among themselves. Ms. Simm flips a few more pages on her clipboard, pauses, and looks around the room before she speaks.** This final question as posed by The Captain for someone who is not here, so I will redirect to the other person named in the question. "This question is for Sim-Keth. Sim-Keth, are you and Kasson an item?" Seeing as Strangetown Keth not present, I pose the question to you Kasson.

Kasson: I... ah... er... **He bears a distinct resemblance to a deer in a car's headlights. A green deer.**

Ms. Simm: Just a simple yes or no is all that's really needed.

**Kasson still seems a bit beyond forming a coherent reply** I like her but like she's big into knowledge and I'm all for parties and popularity stuff. But like popularity sims don't like knowledge sims so does that mean I don't like her? But I really really like her and I so totally want to... but if I don't like her I don't think I'm supposed to do that with her. But I do like her. But she's not here. And she's a capricorn and I'm an aries. Does that change things? I...

**Omaha looks at her uncle and makes the 'cuckoo' gesture around her ear. She looks at Keth** Ray has gone bye bye Egon.

Keth: Yeah, you're right Omaha. I think Kasson is having some problems wrapping his brain around the whole Sim-Deity and Avatar concept. I hope snaps out of it, for Strangetown Keth's sake. Ms. Simm, can I answer for him?

Ms Simm: Well, I suppose.

Keth: I'm not about to say "yes" or "no" to the Capt'n's question. I just want her to know that I find it incredibly funny that she is the one posing this question as she is to blame for the whole situation. Well, she, Aeronwy, and Alexis. You see, their comments way back when about Kasson got me feeling guilty about having neglected him as a child. So I started paying more attention to him. I was going to set him up with a nice job, a nice house, and a nice wife. I never expected him to shake up all my plans by getting turned on by my avatar. Heh. Justice perhaps?

Ms. Simm: Just what did they post, that led to all this.

Keth: Let me check again. **She pulls out a stack of papers and leafs through them** Here we go. "[Captain A]: I feel sorry for little Kasson though. No one seems to care. *sniffle*" "[Aeronwy]: And Kasson should definitely make sure he turns that household on its ear, having nobody attend his birthday! *hmphs*" "[Alexis]: I sure do feel sorry for Kasson though..."

Ms. Simm: He does seem to have developed a following early. And I certainly see where you might have some sympathy for him. Especially after reading those comments.

Keth: Yeah, he kinda grew on me. I think it was the bubbleblower obsession. But I... **Keth pauses as one of the guards taps Ms. Simm on the shoulder. His other hand covers the communicator in his ear.**

Papa: We need to go now, Mystery. I just received the order from HQ to wrap this up.

Ms. Simm: Thank you Papa. Please go and start the vehicle, then call a taxi for Mrs. Holldum and her family. We'll be out in a few minutes.



**The man leaves and Ms. Simm stands up, straightening her suit** Thank you all very much for this interview, but I am afraid we need to be going now. A taxi will be here for you shortly. Your answers are interesting and insightful, and we appreciate you sharing your time with us. Good day. **as she turns to leave, she snaps her fingers at the two remaining men** Wilcox, November, with me please.



**Keth jumps off the barstool. As if my magic, any glasses or utensils her bartender used have been washed and put away, even though they were in use moments ago. Her bartender steps out from behind the bar, slips an arm around her waist, and escorts her out of the restaurant. Outside, one black SUV is just pulling away. A second is waiting with the door open and a taxi is just pulling up.**

**Texas and Cleveland watch Keth leave. **

Cleveland: Well that was certainly an interesting experience, wasn't it Mother?

Texas: Yep. Things is never quiet when Keth done be about.

**Cleveland smiles and kisses Texas on the cheek** I think she would say the same about you.