January 27, 2007

Chapter 14: Orrin's Chapter

Finally it's here: Orrin's Chapter
Maybe he'll quit whining about it now.






"Well it's about time you got back to me."

Still having that acne problem, eh Orry. I see you and Texas have been working off all that lobster your father keeps fixing.

"Not only do you make me wait forever for my chapter, but you continue to mock me with that diminutive."

Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm here now to reveal your teenhood saga for all the world to mock and enjoy.









As everyone remembers, our future little evil overlord here is a family sim. Something quite in conflict with his plans of world conquest.

"I thought you were going to change that in college. That is why I am striving to perfect my charisma. I want that scholarship."

We can try to change it. It'll all depend on how the die falls. But I don't think it looks like you're developing your charisma skills. You're practicing something though, that's for certain. If I look closer, will I find chap-stik prints on the mirror?

"Are you implying...!"

Well I do have that "first kiss" want locked for you

*grumble*

Go to bed and we'll see if we can't take care of that after work tomorrow.







Ahem. I thought I told you to go to bed.

"Whom are you to direct me what to do?"

I kind of am the person running this whole thing. I've already warned Kasson that Strangetown is overdue for another abduction. Him, I'd be concerned about if he got abducted. You, not so much.

"Hey!"









Would you just go to frickin' bed?!

"I must keep in good communication with my generals. Jasper has been patrolling the grounds as extra protection. I have felt... watched... more than usual lately."

Yeesh. Paranoid much? I mean, yeah, there are eyes upon you (more than just mine) but nothing to be concerned about.








Well, it would appear that Orrin has a good start on the "be commanding and intimidating" portion of being an overlord. He not only had a want to scold Felicia, but when he did, the poor puppy piddled herself.

I know someone who would be quite proud of you right now Orrin.


"Are you... mocking me?"

*sigh* Just. Go. To. Bed.









Seeing as someone refused to go to bed, he's dragging a bit now that it's time to go to work. So we'll give him a little help. Good thing he's still gold from scolding Felicia last night.

Put on the Noodlesoother Orry.


"You are NOT making me wear that... that..."

Yes, you are wearing it. If you do, you'll get a promotion today and you'll be an overachiever and get the whateverthefrell the scholarship is for overachievers. Wear the Noodlehootchie.

"But my nemesis, Mr. Noodle, will discover my whereabouts if I don one of his minions."

Put. The. Hootchie. On. Now.

"But..."

NOW! *taps foot* So, how do you feel Orry?

*sings* "I'm super! Thanks for asking!"

Gods help me, he's channeling South Park.








*still singing* "I'm SUPER! Thanks for asking!"

Yeah yeah, we know Orrin. That doodad on your head tells me you got your promotion and got that magic overachiever status. Now take the Noodlehootchie off. You're starting to scare me.








"Woman! If you ever EVER force me to don that malevolent excuse for headgear I'll... I'll... "

You'll what? I'm all atremble.

"Word fail me when I try to describe what I will do. I only hope that I was not bedecked in that thing long enough for my arch-enemy to locate me."

*looks bored and buffs nails on shirt* Yeah, we can only hope. So get yourself inside and call your girl. If you're lucky you might get a kiss out of her tonight.








You look a little confused there Orry.

"I do not understand the strange contortions. The dancing, the primitive pre-mating rituals, those I understand but this..."

You know, most guys would kill to date a woman that flexible.

"I still don't..."

*waits for the family sim aspiration to kick back in*

"understa...OH!"

He can only fight it so long. Now about that first kiss want he has locked in.








For two sims who are not attracted to each other in any way, they sure had no qualms about getting all over each other. Orrin's spun up a want to go steady with Brandi, but I think that'll wait for another night.







Shouldn't you be in bed young man?

"Brandi knows this spot down behind the swimming pool and..."

Cleveland's high school sweetie knew all about it too. The curfew cops know about it too. Just to let you know.








And indeed Strangetown's finest, Sgt Larry Mace, is on the ball tonight and brings our little curfew-breaking, spit-swapping overlord back home. Waylon unfortunately is either asleep or at work so there's no parent available at the Holldum estate to scold the truant (since the game doesn't want to recognize spouses of abductees as a valid scoldee of half-alien spawn)






But tomorrow is another day.

Looking good Orrin. Why am I not surprised that a lab coat suits you well.


"When do I get my mechanical hand?"

Er, you don't. Maybe after college we can arrange something. Now scoot off to work so you can ask Brandi to go steady once you get back.








Actually, the Holldum Estate is pretty hoppin' tonight. Orrin invited the blonde haired kid on the left home with him after school...

"I did not! He followed me."

And the llama. I have no idea who the llama is, who he followed home, or why he's here. Rabid fan perhaps?







But to the important question of the night, Brandi said 'yes'.

"Mmm... I like this."

I think she likes it too.

"But I fail to see how this furthers me on my path to overlordomship."

Even overlords have a softer side. See, that family aspiration isn't all that bad.

"Keth?"

Yes Orrin?

"Could we... ah... have a little privacy?"

You want me to make the llama leave too?

"Nah. Just... turn the camera off."

How about I fast forward a few days so you can be snuggly a bit?

"Thanks."

Enjoy it while you can. And hold on to those thanks. You may want to take them back later.








So, after giving Orrin a little alone time with Brandi and his family aspiration, we're back a few days later.

I'm not sure if it had something to do with the mysterious twin moons that night, if Orrin was right and Mr. Noodle finally succeeded in locating him, or if he was just looking through the wrong telescope at the wrong time (probably the correct answer), but Orrin was about to become another statistic in Strangetown.

It all started with a strange light from above...
.








"What the..."

*blink blink*

"That can't be..."

*rubs eyes*

"Damn your noodlesoother minions, and damn you Mr. Noodle."








"Aaaaahhhh!!! Let me go! Release me this instant! Aaaahh! Keth!"

Sorry, I can't do anything about this part.

"Someone?"

"Anyone?"

"Father?"

"Mommy!"








Eventually the Holldum clan began to trickle out to panic on the porch.

Waylon, in typical Holldum fashion, has something other than the current calamity at hand on his mind at the moment.








"And grandma got sucked up in her trailer."

Oh, sorry. Channeling old sit-coms there. But the littlest evil overlord was sucked up nonetheless.








And most of the family had the decency to at least panic of his abduction. A pregnant Shelby, however, just looks put out about the whole thing.

"Unca Orwee!"









"Oh Coo Unca Kathon. It wooks wike the fwying saucer is takin' Unca Orwee to da moon."

Hmm... I wonder if Waylon and Orrin were right, and there really is a secret base on the opposite side of the moon.







What goes up, must come down and so the aliens finally returned Orrin to where they'd found him.

Actually, I hadn't been expecting the return trip so soon, and when the UFO bipped into my view (I was watching Waylon trying to play fetch with Felicia) it darn near scared the pants off me.








"Hey! Get off my lawn! Damn noisy aliens."

You tell 'em Waylon.








One overlord in training, Orrin Seavey: folded, bent, creased, spindled, mutilated, processed, and rejected as being too young for proper experimentation. That or the aliens had another reason for returning him *whistles innocently*







Returned to the... um... relief of his concerned relatives?

Why are the Holldums always obsessed with running around in their underwear?








That is going to leave a mark in the morning. I mean, he's not on the pavement, he's in the pavement.







"I... I'm back home! But... they were the elite stealth troops of my archenemy. They were taking me back to him to be... to be... because I recognized my true potential and opted to claim this planet for myself. They were going to... Why did they bring me back?"

Because The Evil Overlord is rather interested in you and would prefer you not be hacked into little pieces to feed the Noodlehoovian moondoggies. Even your arch-nemesis is wisely hesitant to come between she and her plans.








"Wait! Did I hear you correctly? Are you implying there is another Evil Overlord... some sort of poseur attempting to lay claim to my domain?"

I'd be real careful who you call a poseur Orrin. She's not apt to take it well.

"She? This overlord is... female too?"

For someone who was just saved from becoming little chunks of quivering lunar canine kibble, you don't seem terribly grateful.

"And it's not you?"

Gods no. I can only dream of the amount of power she manipulates. I mean, she can make people twitch on command.








"So, if I am to believe you, there is already an Evil Overlord ruling this world?"

Well, it's a little more complicated than that. There are... duplicate Strangetowns... parallel Simensions... layers of neighborhoods... an entire multisimiverse out there, and she rules or has power in a number of them.

"And she sees potential in me?"

That she does. She's voiced interest and approval in you. In fact, at some past-future point in one of these simensions she did-might use the term 'yummy' in reference to you... or maybe it was/will-be your hair instead.

"You have now managed to thoroughly confuse me, which is quite an accomplishment considering my brilliant overlordly brain. Past-Future?"

Yeah, the whole time-space continuum thing tends to get a little funky when you start bouncing around through the multisimiverse and its 'wheres' and 'whens'. Explaining it is even worse. If I'm not careful, it'll come out like some kirkbridean lore from Morrowind But don't worry, things should straighten out a bit in a few chapters. How about you go and try to get a little sleep?








So Orrin was returned to his concerned and worried family. And what is the first thing he does? Whip out that frelling handheld and start going to town with it.








Buck up little camper. You're home safe and sound.

"Taken, from the front stoop of my own domicile, by forces serving my foe. What defenses must I raise to feel safe?"

Well, you're starting to sound back to normal. Er, not that you've ever been exactly normal. No offense. Look at it this way, you're eligible for the Alien Reparations scholarship now.

"Yay." *sigh*








Boy, this is really getting to you, isn't it? All you've done is mope around and now it's nearly time for school.

"In addition to the trauma of my abduction, you fail to grasp just how much of a blow it is to discover that not only am I not the only Overlord, but that I am the lesser of the overlords as well."

Actually, you're more kind of an overlord in training but we'll get into that in the past-future. Oh, and I can pretty much guarantee that any future abductions are going to be the normal 'probe and pollinate' type.

"You say that as if it is good news."

Hey, take what you can get. Now scoot. Your bus is here and today's a big day.

"How so?"

It's Omaha's birthday and you get to head off for college after her party.








Boy, the day just flies by when you hit that "3" key, doesn't it?

First we'll throw a quick party for Omaha, before she auto-ages at 6 pm. Orrin only has 2 days left (one, after 6 tonight) if he wants to leave for college. We'll have him call in his scholarships tonight and then leave for campus tomorrow at first light.

But that'll all be next chapter
.

Look! Here's Chapter 15 now. The Die Rolls...






5 Comments:

At 1/27/2007 8:38 PM, Anonymous JennTSG said...

THE TWO MOONS!!! I saw the light and exclaimed 'TWO MOONS' to my hubby...he didn't seem interested! One day I will get to the bottom of the two moons mystery!!

Poor little fella though...finding out about EO.

 
At 1/27/2007 9:36 PM, Blogger Anjel76 said...

Bah. I still don't think the double-moons has anything to do with it. I think it has to do with the colors that a sim is wearing. The Grandmaster has shown that the aliens seem to like browns and oranges. :O)) So ... he's feeling all depressed cuz he won't get to be the ULTIMATE in Overlords. HA! Poor kid. Wouldn't it be funny if when you reroll him in college, he becomes a romance sim? HEEHEE!

 
At 1/27/2007 10:26 PM, Blogger Evil said...

Ah! Orrin my boy... I'm glad to see you survived your little inter-galactic field trip. Fear not. I have friends in 'high places' You do remind me quite a bit of myself when I was a youngling. Good job with the Chiuahua peeing. Intimidation like that shows real promise. Before long you'll have her twitching. Keep working on your evil, and perhaps I'll give you a lesson on how that twitching bit is done.

Remember: Evil. It's not just for breakfast.

EO

 
At 1/30/2007 11:05 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

ROTFLMBO!!!!!!

 
At 3/10/2007 5:05 PM, Anonymous SGT Heather said...

Orrin's chapter was great!!! How great! He got abducted by aliens!!! Very fitting and it is good to that he has learned about the real EO. Its never good to upset her ;o)

 

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