Chapter 10: No no drama

No No Drama.
You don't want no Drama.

You know, all the drama last chapter is enough to drive a girl to drink. You really don't want to see the Cham Annya Hoh house back on campus right now. Things are ugly there. Life's a little better back at the Holldum estate. Cleveland and Shelby just got back from their honeymoon, and Texas and Waylon are, well, doing it like bunnies every time I turn around. The only person having issues is Kasson. And, well, *shrug* it's just Kasson, forgotten spare to the heir.

Bartender! Another scotch and soda.

---

When we left the drama-filled Holldum estate, the Fat Brothers were working out...

"Babe!"

Less protesting, more running. Faster! Faster! I sent 'em upstairs because FitSim TV just wasn't working out.

*grumble* "$*%@#"

I heard that Kasson.

---

Waylon was bonding with the bleu cheese. . .

"Zzzzz. . . . snork. . . "

---

And Texas was blogging all the sordid details over on the yummychannel.sim.

"I'ma jes lettin' mah fans in on whut's bin goin' on. They've bin a follerin' fer a while."

Far be it from me to keep you from your fanbase. Let's hit the "play" button, shall we? Poking #1 on the keyboard in. . .

3. . .

2. . .

1. . .

---

Oh, Hey Waylon, you woke up I see.

"I have this strange feeling like I have missing something very very important."

Just some drama. Lots of drama. Oh, and avoid Kasson. He's kinda pissy right now.

---

See what I mean?

Don't insult the hired help Kasson. Do you know how hard it is to find good help who a) doesn't hate someone in the household or b) isn't trying to sleep with someone there? Of course, with your brother's OCD, Xavier does have a pretty cushy job here.

"$*%@#"

I heard that too. Hey, does that suit mean what I think it means?

---

"Yeah, I've like found myself a job. Babe, I sooo hate suits."

Buck up little camper. You're starting as a campaign manager. Not bad. They could've started you by going door to door, schlepping a clipboard.

---

Shelby is sneaking off to grab one day at work before the baby as well. She landed a nice job in field sales. Not sure the hat goes too well with the suit though.

::Ah rahlly needs ta go see Reynard at La Petite Coiffure. Ah wunner if'n I'll have time afta work?::

I kinda doubt that Shelby

---

While the kids were at work and school, things were pretty much the same-old same-old for Texas and Waylon.

---

Cleveland's little venture into the work force ended. . . badly. . . however. Dang chance cards.

---

"Shelby's going to kill me."

I doubt that Cleveland. She's your wife; she'll be understanding.

"No she won't. You didn't see the way her eyes lit up when I told her I had a job. I swore I saw little simoleon signs in them."

---

"Aw punkin', its awl right. Ther's plenny o' uther jobs out there fur ya'll."

"I'm a vampire dear. I can't exactly take a 9 to 5 position."

"We'll find ya'll sumthin."

Why don't y'all find yourselves moseying inside. Waylon is due home from work and you're clogging up the porch.

---

And you really don't want to get in Waylon's way tonight. He seems to have picked up a bad case of "self fury", a strange affliction that seems to plague the members of the Nutty Professor and Mad Scientist Brotherhood of Greater Strangetown. I guess all those dangerous chemicals and high voltage start to take a toll after a while.

Perhaps a good night's sleep will help smooth everyone's temper out.

---

"Aaaaahhh!"

Bad dream? Oh, I guess not. It just looks like Shelby has had her first bump.

"This isa gunna ruin tha lines of mah new tailored suit!"

You'll survive Shelby. You're not going to be working for a while anyway.

---

"Are you excited dear? Soon we'll be hearing the pitter patter of little feet."

"A puppy? Ah wants a puppy. Mebbe one of them lil' chi-hooa-hooas."

"No dear, a baby. Our baby. Our first little one."

"First? Ya'll mean ya wants more of these?

"Well, we do need a spare to the heir, like Kasson. And, well, I've got a little sister. . . and another brother. . . so I was thinking. . . "

"Ah wants is a chi-hooa-hooa."

How about some breakfast instead?

---

"I was like readin' this article in the paper this morning about the revitalization of downtown and like, you know, I was like thinkin. . . "

---

". . . maybe it's like time I moved out on my own. Found my own place. Bought my own bubbleblower. Dude, I've so got my own job now and like a college degree and everything."

---

"Ah think tha' sounds laik a wunnerful ideer Kasson. Packin' yer bags an' movin' outta mah. . . er. . . the house an' inta yer awn place in tha big citee."

"Er. . . dear. . . "

"Hesh Cleveland."

Don't mind her Kasson. It's the hormones.

"You know you're always welcome here, son."

"Thanks Dad-dude."

I hate to break up this lovely family meeting, but today's a rather important day and we've got a party to throw.

---

Yep, it's a big all-around birthday day. Waylon and Texas are making the transition to elder and Orrin will be taking that critical step into teenhood.

I have this sneaking suspicion these two aren't going to let old age slow them down.

---

I've even revamped the garage a.k.a. party pad with a birthday theme. Waylon will be out here in about five minutes to clean up the balloons. Heh.

Texas, why don't you do the honors and ring up your friends?

---

See what I mean about "Self Fury Syndrome" striking NPMSBGS members? Eugene is stalking around the living room fuming at himself. I'd love to know what he did to piss himself off.

---

Of course, there's lots fury going around today.

I'd ask what's going on, but with them making faces like that, I'm not sure I really want to know. *shudder*

---

"Are ya done lookin' at the boys makin' them funny faces? Kin we move on with this here party?"

Well, I never get tired of looking at the boys but since you're in an all fired hurry to move up an age bracket.

"Hol' up jes a sec there. . . "

---

"OoooooOOoooo"

Oh stop your bellyaching Shelby. I realize that carrying a baby isnt' the easiest thing a Sim can do, but you're just looking for attention now.

::Drat. Everbuddy's watching Miz Texas and nobuddy's noticing me. Mebbe I shuld moan louder.::

How about not? Attention slut.

---

"Them sure is alotta candles."

It certainly is. I hope you made a good wish.

"I wished fer a fire extingoosher."

Fair enough. Lets see how elderhood treats you and -- more importantly -- what wardrobe you get.

---

I'm impressed Texas. A good job at picking your birthday outfit. All the Holldums have had good fashion taste so far. . . well, except for Kasson and that purple suit. *shudder*

"Kin I git a red hat ta ware wit this?

Ah. . . No.

---

"Whoa! Salina brought her friend with again."

I'd prefer it if you just left her alone, Kasson.

"Aw, but Babe. . . "

Orrin, why don't you take your brother over to help Waylon blow out his birthday candles.

"But our parental unit doesn't need. . . "

Orrin! Et-gay er-yay rother-bay utta-oay ere-hay.

---

Careful with that cake Waylon. Last thing we need is for it to get loose and start a wild fire.

::Hmmm.. Do I wish to finally discover Mr. Noodle's secret headquarters or should I wish for. . . ::

I wish you'd blow out the candles before the frosting starts to caramelize.

---

Nice suit Waylon. Both you and Texas chose well. Looks like I'm not going to have to go scour the web for elder downloads. . . at least not yet.

Of course, as soon as he was finished transitioning, Waylon spun up the want to woohoo in bed. Oy.

::I think I'm going to finish this nice piece of cake, and then Texas and I can go scrog like leporids.::

---

"Oh Shelby dear, yer jes a startin' out. By the time yous done gone thru all yer bumps, ya're done gonna be hoooge. Like one of them there sooomo wrasslers."

---

Orrin, put your divas down and go blow out your candles.

"Is it time for my age transition already?"

A'yup.

"And is there a flaming sugary concoction as well?"

All aflame and waiting for you.

"Excellent."

---

"And so I take the next step in my rise to conquest of this planet."

Assuming, of course, I roll an aspiration for you that's compatible with those plans.

"Aspiration? Are you saying a die will determine what I desire to do with my life?"

Yes, in a way. Just blow and we'll see what we get.

---

I just love that dorky face they get when they grow up, don't you?

"Woman! Why do I feel. . . strange?"

You mean beyond the normal strange feelings that usually show up during puberty?

"Just answer me!"

Well then, it must be because I rolled the family aspiration for you.

"What?!"

Hold that thought a moment. . .

---

Ahem *clears throat*

*whisperwhisper*

Kasson. . .

*mumblemumble*

Byron. . .

*robblerobble*

Holldum!

"Oh hiya Babe. We like were just. . . "

What did I tell you earlier?

"What! Why can't I. . . "

Leave her be. . . now!

*grumble*

Don't you growl at me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have something to finish explaining to your brother.

---

Ahem. Where were we. Oh yes, family aspiration. Well Orrin, what it means is that you really want to settle down, raise a family, that sort of thing.

"With a female?"

Or a guy, if that's what you'd prefer.

"I suppose I could conquer this world through breeding and offspring, although that would take several generations. Or several females."

Well, you shouldn't have any trouble attracting the ladies. You're even easier on the eyes than your older brothers were when they were your age. You didn't' manage to avoid the Seavey nose, but we cant' have everything, can we?

"I would prefer a more direct, hands on approach to becoming Evil Overlord."

I suppose we could try to change your aspiration once you reach college. It worked for Cleveland.

"An excellent plan. I shall go an apply to the university at once."

Ah. . . no. . . you need to work up some skills first. And I need to put a stop to something again.

---

Can't you do what I ask of you for five minutes Kasson?

"You are so not the boss of me."

Actually, the fact I'm running the mouse kinda says I am. So turn around and walk away. I'm just trying to keep things from getting ugly later on.

*grumble*

And besides, her eyes are a little higher up.

"$*%@#."

Gah! All right, that's enough. Everybody shoo. Shoo! The party's over. Head on out before Sgt Gormless from the Strangetown police force shows up to break up the fun.

---

Y'all remember Sgt Gormless, right? Bane of Cleveland during his teenage years and frequent visitor to Cham Annya Hoh on behalf of the secret society?

I thought so. He's not the most butch of the Strangetown force. Here he is crying like a little girl over losing a fight to a burglar. Orrin was not impressed.

---

All right Kasson, what's with the smirk?

"Salina's friend is cute."

Oh by the hundred little gods. That's what started all the drama last chapter. For the last time, just leave her alone.

"$*%@#"

And stop calling me that.

---

Nice to know that elderhood hasn't slowed Texas and Waylon down any.

Like damn bunnies, I tell ya.

---

And it seems that Shelby's tummy isn't slowing her down either. They're not as lovey as Texas and Waylon, but I'll catch them sharing little kisses and flirts. And Shelby hasn't spun up a want for foliage yet.

Orrin, isn't that the school bus outside?

---

Sheesh, do you ever put that game down?

"It is helping me develop the reflexes and hand-eye coordination I will need when I. . . "

. . . become Overlord of this planet. Yeah, I kinda figured that. Just keep it out of sight while you're at school or your teachers will confiscate it.

---

Thar she blows! Quick, where be Capt'n Ahab with the harpoon?

"Dang ol' bellee. Cain't see ma feet. Cain't lean over. Cain't war ma suit 'n go ta work. Cain't we git a chi-hooa-hooa instead?"

Someone's a grouchy whale.

---

And no one is using the upstairs bathroom because. . . ? Hmm?

"Miz Texas, I believe y'all need ta be gitting anuther bathroom installed."

"Waylon, dang it, would ya stop hoggin' tha biffy?"

"In a moment, dear."

---

"Whoa! Shelby, you're like really packing on the pounds there babe. Does Cleveland like know?"

"Die inna fire."

Gah. No fire deaths please. At least, not yet.

---

"Why is my brother crying like a little girl?"

Your whale. . . er wife was mean to him.

"Well his carpool is here."

Dry your eyes and straighten out your makeup Kasson. You've gotta go to work.

"$*. . . "

I already know what you're going to say, so just zip it and catch your ride.

---

Haven't your teachers taken that away from you yet?

"Silence. I am trying to concentrate."

Digital Diva again?

"No. I am controlling little tiny people. Getting them jobs, building families, killing them off. Like overlorddomship on a smaller scale."

Hmm. . . I think I've played that one before. Anyway, you brought a girl home with you. You can't fight those family sim feelings forever. Go over and make nice to her.

---

"Her? Brandi? But she's like. . . ew. . . "

Give that family aspiration a chance to kick in.

---

Now, are you sure Orrin? I mean, she's like the best looking teen I've seen in a while. And you haven't wandered around fanning yourself, so I don't think she's a romance sim.

"I am destined to be an Evil Overlord! I do not need a girlfriend!"

Even evil overlords need a paramour.

"All right. I admit. She is nice looking. Happy?"

Yep.

---

But she doesn't seem too impressed with you. Especially dancing like that. WTF?

"It is an ancient dance which interprets. . . "

Sure it is. I think nowadays we just call it 'lack of rhythm'. Maybe I should start calling you Don 'No Soul' Simmons. I hope you're not counting on that dance scholarship.

---

"Shelby dear, why are you making pirate noises while standing ankle deep in the bathtub?"

"Arr, I be the Dread Pirate Shel, but you kin be callin' me Capt'n."

"Er. . . yes dear."

---

"ArrrooooOOOOO!"

"I don't recall pirates ever making that sort of noise. At least they don't in the movies. Did you perhaps slip and hurt yourself in the bathtub?"

---

"Oh, your contortions and pained expression can only mean that our child's about to make its way into the world. I remember Mother making the same face during Salina's birth."

Um. . . Shelby needs your support right now Cleveland, not an exposé on the birthing process.

---

"@*%^# &^@#%$ (@&% %*@%"

Well, she may not be a pirate, but Shelby sure swears like a sailor. I'm impressed. I thought I was the only one around here with a vocabulary like that.

---

It would appear the arrival of their first grandchild interrupted Texas and Waylon, so to speak. Looks like I need to go search for elder undies to replace Texas' granny panties.

"What's all this here commeramotion done goin' on up here?"

"I think I'm having a heart attack. Father, am I too young to have a heart attack?"

"Well son. . . "

"Oh hesh up the both of ya. Can't ya see Shelby is done havin' a baby here? Jes ignore 'em hun and breathe. It'll all come right and easy once ya done do yer breathin'"

---

"Aaaaiiiieee"

Texas said breathe Shelby, not wail like a banshee. Ah, never mind. Do your little spin and let's bring Generation 3 into the household.

---

Welcome Omaha Casey Holldum. A little red haired girl for generation 3.

I'm not sure how she ended up with the black alien eyes. Shelby has the recessive green eyes and I thought Cleveland had the recessive light blue eyes... *goes to check DNA* Nope, I was wrong. Cleveland has dark blue as his phenotype. I should've realized it when they were dominant over the alien eyes. Guess I need to go make a better set of default eyes.

Texas no doubt will adore Omaha; with eyes like that she's going to look just like Grandma.

---

Congratulations Kasson, you're an uncle. You've got a lovely little niece. What do you...

"Grrrrr. . . "

Er. . . Okay. . . I'll just back away and go over to talk to your mother then. Boy, someone's touchy tonight.

---

Congratulations Texas, you're a grandmother! Any thoughts? Opinions? Anecdotes?

"Lemme git back ta ya on that one Keth. All this here hootin' and hollerin' has done wore me out. I'd like ta be takin' me a snooze right here on the davenport."

That works for me. I'll check in with you next chapter. Besides, there's a lot to do in the meanwhile.

---

Cleveland and Shelby have a new little daughter to get to know.

I just love Omaha's expression. . . fist in the mouth and everything.

---

And I need to figure out why the heck my newspaper keeps disappearing. I suppose my paperboy has been forgetting me again. *sigh*

Ah well. Till next chapter then.

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Onward to Chapter 11: Send Me an Angel