December 30, 2006

Chapter 8: Let Me Sum Up

Let me explain...

No there is too much. Let me sum up.

Oh, hello. I guess you're wondering where Texas and the rest of the Holldums have been the past few months. Well, like I told Texas in the last chapter, I'd get to the next installment when Oblivion willed it -- Oblivion being the Elder Scrolls game, Oblivion. I was a TES addict since Arena came out and, as I predicted, I was glued to Oblivion once I had it in my hot little hands. After I finished it up I went back to Morrowind because, IMO, it's a deeper game. Plus Kateri had released an awesome companion mod and I finally had a computer that could run Qarl's Underground mod. Despite all this, there was one more reason why I didn't get back to Texas right away. A Big Reason: I couldn’t run the Sims.

I'd upgraded my video card in order to run Oblivion to, at the time, one of the best cards available. Oblivion and Morrowind looked awesome, but the Sims crashed religiously after a few minutes any time I tried to play. I upgraded drivers, backed up, uninstalled and reinstalled the Sims and all expansions, but no dice. So, I quit trying. Now, after swapping video cards a few times and doing a little memory upgrading, I think I've got the game stabilized.

Some things may look a bit different, since I didn't reinstall my custom eyes and hair (you'll notice this really affects the Retrorockets). I also decided to go a little easy on the downloads, but everything is on line and ready to roll. Let's go check on Texas, shall we?

"Well it's about gol-durned time ya hauled yer sorry @## back here! Jes where tha #&@$ have ya bin lollygaggin' off ta?"

Sheesh... temper Texas. And language... While I don’t have an issue with it, there may be some folks out there who are sensitive to it. Remember that bit I told you about "Oblivion willing"? Well... Oblivion wasn't willing. I explained it all a moment ago, so just scroll back up. I'll wait.

Caught up? Good. So anyway, I'm back now, okay?

"No it hain't okhay! Do ya know jes how long I bin stan'in around here in mah undies waitin' on ya ta git back here?"

Considering how you tend to wander around in your underwear normally, I don't see where having to hang out in them a while longer is that big an issue. Of course, since you've got two grown boys living at home now, I'd hope you'd be doing that a little less now. Speaking of the boys, lets catch on what's happened so far...

Now... if you recall...

This happy couple... married...

...and had these three kids....

...who went to college and founded their own Greek House.

There the lovely (and telescope addicted) Salina Holldum...

...was madly in love with Cirrus, her neighbor from Strangetown...

...but seemed unable to break off with her other neighbor (and stalker) Euclid Retrorocket.

Clone to the Heir and bubble-blower addict Kasson Holldum...

...fell for his brother's elementry school squeeze Euphemia, who is Euclid's sister.

The Heir to the Holldum legacy, Cleveland Holldum...

hooked up with his pre-chosen bride, Shelby Zaidi the Delivery Girl...

...and discovered that Veronica Leong the Waitress was as interested in him and he was in her...

...but before all this happened he got chomped by Countess Carla...

...vamperizing him.

While all this was going on, mad scientist extraordinare Waylon Holldum-Seavey...

...was raising his alien offspring (and future Evil Overlord), Orrin.

And now, with the boys back in Strangetown, we return you to your irregularly scheduled blog.

There, all caught up. Are you happy now Texas? Is all forgiven?

"Kinda a short flasherback but yeah, I surspose its all okhay now. Fer the moment. Jes don' be wanderin' off agin."

I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best. Hey, didn't you used to have a different pair of undies?

"Yeah, but they done seemed ta have disappeared on me an' I've only got these here borin' ones. Waylon sez..."

Um, that's okay Texas, really. Sorry about that. I'll have someone pick up some new underbits for you next time they're at the store. Hey, lets go see how things are going in the Holldum Household now that Cleveland and Kasson are here.

Kasson and Orrin hit it off right away, with Orrin tailing after him, as little brothers are apt to do. I seem to recall Cleveland reading to a younger Kasson just like this. Of course, Kasson didn't have a smile like that. It makes you wonder if he has some ulterior motive...

"Silence! I will not have you instilling suspicion in my future subje... er family members."

Still having those delusions of grandeur, eh Orrin?

Nothing ever changes with these two. Oy.

"Darling, I'm hearing that strange disembodied voice again. It had been gone for so long..."


Waylon, let her come up for air a moment, would ya?

Graduation doesn't seem to have changed the boys much. They've had a couple days to settle in and time has come around to start thinking about jobs... and gen 3

And Damn! I had hoped that Kasson's 'sexhay man about town' dressing gown was a Nightlife recolour what would disappear when I reinstalled. No such luck.

"I heard that Babe. I'm, like, hurt."

Oh please.

I guess this never changes either. I didn't see it, but the lure of the telescope must've been too great. Seems like Cleveland ducked out for just a moment and aroused the ire of the neighborhood poker.

In case you've forgotten, Vidcund, Cleveland isn't your ordinary Strangetownian anymore. Check out the fangs...

"Ah... yes... I do recall a similar... smoky... altercation we had on the front lawn at La Fiesta Tech. Wait... is that a canine? I hear barking and whining..."

Well Vidcund, I do have Pets, so it's possible a stray...


Okay, maybe a wolf...


Oh by the frelling hundred little gods. You're grown men. You don't see the mad poker screaming like a little girl. Haven't you ever watched The Dog Whisperer on cable? You're doing it all wrong.

"Good doggie. Mebbe I've got a milk bone."

I don't think he wants a milk bone Kasson.

"Babe! Mom! Can't you, like, do something?"

"Geez, I don' believe I done raised such a sissy boy."

Hmm... maybe that smoking jacket is scaring the wolf. I think it's time to fix that.

"Aw Babe. Not my sexhay jacket."

Okay Kasson. You've made fashion statements since you were a toddler. This time it's one I just can't handle.

"You jes need a little time to, like, get used to it."

No, no I don't. And if getting rid of the jacket means we won't have any more wolf incidents, I'm all for it. I like you better when you're not bawling like a schoolgirl.

"Woo! Heya Taxi-babe! Crank the radio and lets be headin' for the mall! First stop, Bubbleblowers 'n Stuff!"

No Kasson, you're not going to the mall, and I've already paid the driver to not take you anywhere near anyplace with bubbleblowers. Here's your shopping list. I'll expect you back shortly.


Ooo, can I see what you got?

"No. Since you ain't letting me stop by the bubbleblower parlor, you're like gonna have to wait."

Aw... please. I'll give you a cookie.


Yes Kasson?

"Um... why did you have me buy sexhay ladies' panties?"

Oh, those are for your mom.


While Kasson was being traumatized by buying undies for Texas, I sent the current bright star of the Nutty Professor and Mad Scientist Brotherhood of Greater Strangetown upstairs to work off his gut. I caught him making lobster... again. And he didn't need more lobster. Someone should eat it though.

"*pant pant* ...I swear... *pant* ...I hear that voice... *pant* ...mocking my lobster... *pant*"

Orrin, there are at least three plates of lobster that your father made before I sent him upstairs to become intimate with Mr. Treadmill. Why, pray tell, did you make a muffin instead?

"I do not have to answer your queries as to my choice of sustenance."

I have Pets. I can trade you in for a bulldog.


Eh... that one always worked for my parents.

"As if I had anything to fear from canines."

Hmm... is that so Orrin... Wait, is that a taxi door I hear?

About time you got home. I've been waiting for you.

"I'm tired Babe. Ridin' in the car always like puts me to sleep. Can ya wait until I've, like, had a nap?"

No. You've got to drop Texas' lingerie off in the master bedroom anyway. You might as well change clothes while you're in there.

"But what if they're like... ew... doin' stuff in there?"

I think it's safe in there at the moment. Your dad's on the treadmill and your mom's upstairs playing "punch me" with your brother.

Mmmmm... much nicer than that smoking jacket. Definitely. Turn around and model for me.

"Thanks Babe but can I just take a nap now?"

*sigh* Sure. I need to go check on what your parents are up to anyway. I haven't heard the treadmill in a while.

But then I'm not sure I want to know what they were up to in this part of the house. The boys' rooms are up here. We got rid of the only double bed upstairs to make room for Cleveland's coffin and... ew... Texas, tell me you guys didn't...


Never mind. I don't want to know.

**giggles madly**

Sorry, I still find this way too funny.


Okay, fun time's over. Cleveland's got an important call to make. You might say the future of the Holldum Legacy depends on it.

"Could you explain again why I am calling Shelby?"

You're going to ask her out on your first and only date. You've got an important question to ask her.

"I do?"

Yes, you do. Now call.

"Wait. What do you mean by 'first and only date'"

Ahhh!!! Dial!

"Alright... Hello. Yes can I speak to Shelby please..."

"Bleh. Bleh I say. Bleh."

Stop blehing the nice taxi driver and get in the frelling van. Keep it up and you'll be late. For a very important date.

"Where am I going again?"

Downtown. To meet Shelby. Oh here, just follow these notes.

"Well, okay... hey, wait.. I get to kiss her?"

Play your cards right and you'll be doing more than that in the future.

"Oh Mr. Cleveland, I do declare, you rilly know how ta make a gel feel important right from the git go."

"Well, my notes said..."


"Er, but of course Shelby. You are special, and this is a special night."

Nice save.

Oh dear, it looks like Veronica is working tonight. She and Cleveland have the "mad hawts" for each other (to borrow Kasson's phrasing) but it's only Shelby he's in love with. Besides, Veronica is too professional to allow her personal interests to interrupt her work.

"Say what?"

Nothing to see here. Move along Veronica.

"...and it just seems like all these alarms are going off in my subconscious, as if telling me something is about to go horribly wrong."

"Mr. Cleveland, ah think yer jes under a bit mucha stress is all. Has work bin goin' poorly fer ya of late?"

"Cleveland. Just Cleveland. You don't need to call me Mister. And I don't have a job yet, so I can't have any stress from work."

"Okay Mr. Cleveland. And ifin ya don't have a job yet, well that there's where the problem is. Ah'm sure you'll feel much better once'n you've got yerself a nice steady job."

"Well, I really don't need to work. Mother is the star of popular 'Grill of the Golden West' No, I think it's from something else."

"No Mr. Cleve... Cleveland. Ah still jus think yer stressed. Yah should relax an' have a fine time."

"Ah... er..."

Heh. I do believe she likes you Cleveland. Let her finish her cake and hand her that box I gave you.

"Oop... Ack..."

Cleveland Amblin Holldum! That is NOT how you show a girl you're interested in her.

"But it works for Kasson."

Your brother is a whole other story.


"Yes'm Cleveland?"

"I mentioned earlier that tonight was an important night and... well... I really like you a lot and..."

"...ah.. I was wondering if..."

"Oh Cleveland! Are ya'll asking me what all ah think ya are?"

" I guess so..."

"Shelby, will you marry me?"

"Oooo... oh yes Cleveland... Ah sure will."

"Ah... wonderful... I think..."

I've seen a number of different expressions on Sims' faces during a 'surprise proposal' but I think this is the first time I've seen one that actually seems to imply the Sim is having second thoughts about proposing.

"Oh Cleveland, it's byooteeful."

::Hmmm... a carat and a half... no, maybe two... I'll take it to SimCity Sparkles. Alphonse will be able to tell me for certain.::

Well now, could there be more to our little delivery gal than meets the eye?

There now. That wasn't so painful, was it?

"Why do I think you've had this all planned from the start?"

Because I have... well, some of it anyway.

"But I like Veronica... hopefully she didn't hear that."

Who? Veronica, or Shelby, because they're both within earshot. Anyway, I picked out Shelby long before I had Nightlife, which brought us Veronica.

"Can't I at least pick out my own wife? You didn't pick Waylon for Mother."

Yeah, but Waylon made the first move. Besides your Mother had taste in men. We've seen what happens when you pick your own dates. That reminds me, if you don't hurry up and wrap up this date you'll need sunblock to make it to the cab. So finish up dinner and go dancing with your fiancée.

"Alright Mouse Mistress, I admit, I could get used to this. It's kind of nice."

Glad you agree. There'll be more of this in the future.

"But I think I'd still rather do this with Veronica."


"Did I hear my name?"

Table 3 Veronica. They're waiting on drink refills. Still nothing to see here.

And a dip and a kiss to wrap up the evening. For the curious, the was no red glow to Shelby's engagement ring, so we're not dealing with a romance sim. Good, I wasn't quite ready to cope with that yet.

"Cleveland sweetie, couldja let me up fer jus a minute?"

Wait, Shelby, where are you going?

Hmm... I guess she has to get up early to start her delivery route.

Yep, Shelby walked out on Cleveland three quarters of the way through the date. Luckily it was already a Dream Date, although it was a long hard fight to reach that level.

Well, I think it's time to head home and tell your folks the good news. Sorry she bailed on you early, but hey, you've finally had a dream date.

Cleveland, are you listening to me?

"Oh, sorry... were you saying something? I was distracted. Veronica was... ah... bending over to refill water glasses."

Gah, your brother is the one who acts like that. Now go catch the taxi before sunrise catches up with us.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...


All the frickin' time, I tell ya. You two are going one of those elder sim couples who always have the "woohoo" want spun up, aren't you? Waylon, do you know where your son is?

Ah, so this is what you mean with the "nothing to fear from canines" comment.

"Yes. The canines of this world are joining me in my battle against the being you know as 'Mr. Noodle'. When I ascend to world domination, Jasper and his pack will serve as my elite shock troops to keep insurgents under control."

Ooookay. I can only hope all these plans change when he hits puberty.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of ya. Shelby's such a nice gal. Y'all done make an adoorhable couple."

"Thank you Mother. It still seems a little, well, sudden to me. I mean, Veroni..."

"Hesh, I done got a weddin' ta plan. Scoot."

"Yes Mother."

Shelby finally snuck by to leave Cleveland his "dream date" bouquet. After all the lousy dates he's had (including the one with Jane, which earned him the Flaming Bag of Poo) it's nice to finally have one go right.

You're sure looking pleased with yourself Texas.

"Ah shure am. Mah folks at 'Grill of the Golden West' done came thru wif flyin' colours in gettin' this here wedding spread whipped up in record time. An' the weddin' decorator did a spen'nid job in turnin' the garage into a weddin' hall."

Um, I'm your wedding decorator.

"An' ya done did awesome. This here's gonna be the best weddin' Strangetown has seen in years."

Thanks. I thought I did a good job converting the garage. We'll wait till next chapter, though, for the ceremony. Meanwhile, Texas, go feed your husband.

Onwards to Chapter 9: Baby did a Bad Bad Thing (A Holldum Wedding)

Back to Chapter 7: The Boys are Back in Town


At 1/04/2007 8:18 PM, Blogger Anjel76 said...

It is SO nice to see the Holldums again. I missed them terribly! *wipes away tear* And they're all just as quirky as I remember. :O))

At 1/04/2007 9:41 PM, Blogger PRMami said...

WOW! I'm so glad to see Miz Texas and her family again! YAY!!!!

At 1/05/2007 1:27 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

You've made my day today! I love the Holldums! So very glad to see them again.

At 1/06/2007 12:08 PM, Anonymous JennTSG said...

I like the evil little kid the best...evil overlords are awesome!

Hmmm Shelby eh? She a gold-digger?

At 2/04/2007 7:49 PM, Blogger suziesim said...

Welcome back to the world of Sims! Glad your 'puter is once again co-operting!
ahaha! Kasson - it's just a little dog, for pity sake! *er* Yes, plz - somebody's got to change out that smoking jacket! :) And eww from here too - I wouldn't wanna buy sexhay undies for my mum either! :D:D
Ah - Clevelands' going to marry Shelby, huh? Even though Veronica's a hotie too? :( And will he ever unvamp?! Excellent work Texas - your little boy's getting married!

At 3/03/2007 12:24 PM, Anonymous SGT Heather said...

I think Shelby is going to turn into trouble. Poor Cleveland. I was kind of rooting for Veronica to get the nod.


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