Chapter 3: Heir and a Clone...

Heir and a Clone... er... Spare





Before you ask no, this isn’t Cleveland, the current Holldum heir. This is little Orrin, the youngest Holldum. He wasn’t even a twinkle in Waylon’s eye when I snapped these pics, but I wanted to toss him out here to show off the adorable little toddler hats that are in Nightlife

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But lets hop back in sim-time a few days, to when Cleveland was the toddler hogging the spotlight. Same pose, same bunny-bear (only it hasn’t seen quite as much wear-n-tear) I like to call this one "Green Boy, Green Bear"

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Little Cleveland’s picture was so cute, I had to have a custom picture of it for the house. Since Waylon was just slacking off unemployed and I needed something to keep him from spying on Vidcund, I set him to painting a still life of the dust bin and promptly replaced the snapshot image with Cleveland’s pic.

I think it turned out rather nice, but cootie-ridden nanny Sophie has other ideas. Waylon finished his masterpiece and I hung it up just as Sophie was putting Cleveland down for a nap. She made a beeline to the picture and proceeded to critique it in her own "special way". Poor Waylon was traumatized. I’ve never seen a sim react to having their artwork viewed and disliked. And Sophie kept doing it over... and over... and over...

And over...

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Well Helllllllooooo Nurse... er... Delivery Man! Could you stop by again in a few years when we’ve got a homely female heir and need a good shot of sexxxhaay genes?

Er... sorry... we’ll return now to our normal schedule of nanny-harassment...

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The time sure seems to fly when they’re cute and adorable, doesn’t it? It’s Cleveland’s birthday already and the whole neighborhood turned out. Cranky Vidcund is trying to make our heir deaf before his elder days and Eugene is going to have to do some fast talking tonight when he gets home. Genesis is going to want to know why he was staring at Chloe Singles’ a## instead of whizzing his own noisemaker at the party.

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Cleveland goes from adorable toddler to a pretty cute kid, imnsho. Nice, conservative clothes and he doesn’t seem take after Waylon too much (he can color coordinate!)

Listen close... we may be able to eavesdrop on this thoughts...

::If I hurry and bolt my cake down really fast, I can still get 3 or 4 skill points in before dinner and bedtime::

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I’ve heard of splitting hairs before, but never splitting heirs.

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Lobster makes an appearance again as we try to impress the headmaster and get little Cleveland into the Strangetown School for Special Students (SSSS). Take a good look; this is the last time we’ll see the headmaster until Cleveland is ready for college, despite calling him every frelling night for over 2 sim weeks to get the Spare to the Heir accepted.

At this point I believe Texas is just starting to explain her Grand Unification Grilled Cheese Theory to the HM. Cleveland feigns interest while Waylon is making a quick escape with his espresso (heavily laced with something alcoholic, no doubt).

Surprisingly, the HM buys into Texas’s GUGC Theory and they become good friends after this.

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Packin’ on a little poundage there Texas? A few too many grilled cheese sandwiches perhaps?

"Waylon made his fancy lobster thermodaire and it’s jus' fulla..."

Thermidore

"Huh?"

Thermidore. He made Lobster Thermidore. A thermodaire is like a heater or a refrigerator or something.

"Well ain’t you jes Miz Know It All."

A'yup. That's why I'm the one clicking the mouse. That’s also how I know you had 1 helping of lobster with the HM, but 3 grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. I think it was the Swiss and cheddar that was your downfall, not the shellfish.

*muttergrumblebitchmoan*

"I’m sorry but what was that you were saying my dear? This complex yoga pose is requiring more concentration than usual and I fear I was not paying attention. Do you need assistance with moving past the beginner stance?"

"Ah hope you sprain yer finger!"

Sheesh. Someone gets testy when she’s fat.

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"While an admirable concept, I do see some flaws in your Grand Unification Grilled Cheese Theory, my cheddary connoisseur."

And I see someone’s underpants... and a platinum plumb bob to boot.

"Hesh you! I was showerin’ off after bein’ all stanky from that silly yogurt stuff we was doin'. Waylon came wandering inta the shower and then we sorta kinda..."

Uh huh, Uh huh... You know there are certain risks with wild and unprotected WooHoo like that...

"Is something wrong my darling? You seem to be glaring rather peevily at your Ascendant-Os this morning."

I think Texas is just feeling nauseous Waylon... if she’s not, she will be in a few hours *evil grin*

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With his uniform neatly pressed and his tie straight, Cleveland heads off to his first day at the Strangetown School for Special Students. He may not seem excited, but he really is folks. He also likes his uniform a lot. Really. A LOT. While most of the album pics here show him in his normal clothes, Cleveland will happily wear his uniform all day. He’d sleep in it I’d let him.

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Feeling a little urpy there Texas?

"Yah, and I ain’t been to the Diggity Dog all week! Now, the milk were a little green this mornin’ but..."

No flu, no food poisoning, no Nervous Subject scarfing down chili in the kitchen. I’m guessing your preggers again. Careful, Waylon’ll be upset if you toss your cookies all over the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. But then, he get all excited when he gets to clean, so I don’t know what his issue is...

"Ya knew this was gonna happen when me ‘n Waylon was gittin’ all frisky last night, didn’t ya? I don’ wanna be pregnant yet. I just sent mah demo tape of ‘Grill of the Golden West’ over tah the Yummy Channel. If they like it I gots ta start filmin right away."

I’ve gotta have a spare to the heir, just in case Cleveland does something stupid like get himself electrocuted by the dishwasher or have a satellite fall on him. The Yummy Channel will wait.

"Awww..." *urrrrrp*

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Woohoo! Waylon’s finally got that lifetime want of Maxing all his skills. You can’t tell it from the picture, but inside he’s jumping up and down and screaming like a schoolgirl after her first kiss. And the next want he spun up: be a mad scientist. How convenient he just started down the science field earlier today.

"Ah, I feel I have reached the pinnacle of all there is to know. Beware Mr. Noodle... I am coming for you now. No more shall you mock me!"

Okaaaay. How about you go inside and snuggle your wife? She’s feeling a little needy right now, being pregnant and all...

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"Yer sure doin’ a lot better with the darts, Cleveland. You been workin’ on that mechanical agin?"

"Yes Mother, thank you for noticing. You know I strive to get 2 or 3 skill points a night after my homework is complete. I appreciate your assistance with it again tonight."

"Well yer homework and them skills is important hun. They’ll git ya lots of scholarships an’ then ya kin go to college and major in Poli Sci jes like me. I was the Big Babe on Campus ya know."

"I’m sorry Mother, but I don’t believe that Political Science would be the best major for me. I aspire to do something more than work at the Diggity Dog after I graduate."

I believe it’s philosophy majors who tend to end up in the fast food industry, Cleveland, not Poli Sci.

"Mother, did you hear a disembodied voice correcting me about Political Science?"

"Jes ignore her, punkin. Yer too young fer her ta hassle"

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"Ah Father, you’re finally home! I could do with a good rousing game of red hands before settling down to my schoolwork and several hours of skill building!"

"Have you tried the telescope yet, my dear boy? I find it most enjoyable while it expands my faculties."

"Every time I look through it, Mr. Vidcund comes over and beats up Mother."

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"Ohmigawed! I’m fat again!"

Ah, better cut down on the grilled... oh, no you’re just more pregnant Texas. No worries.

"Kewl! I got rings, jes like Saturn."

*em Smack Head* I do not believe you just said ‘kewl’. At least you didn’t add ‘beans’ to the end of it.

"Hey, kin I name this kid Saturn, after mah rings?"

No, you may not. I’ve got a theme going and I’ve never been to Saturn. And, considering the state of our current interplanetary travel abilities (or lack thereof), it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting there anytime in this lifetime, so the name Saturn is right out.

"Purty Please?"

No

"Purty Please with grilled cheese and Diggity Dog Chili Specials on top?"

Ewwwww, definitely no. I think I’m going to be sick now.

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Waylon, it’s not nice to gossip about your pregnant wife behind her back. Especially with the man who comes over and beats her up every other day.

"Really, the first time she was pregnant she spent the whole time swearing up and down it was just food poisoning."

You’d better hope she doesn’t overhear hear you. She’s moody and hormonal enough as is.

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"Oh, what’s wrong love?"

"I’m stinky an’ I’m always hungry an’ I can’t see mah feet an’ mah back hurts an’ I’m tired an’ I dun swear someone was talkin’ 'bout me behind mah back an’..."

"I just cleaned the shower, so why don’t you take a nice rinse-off and catch a little nap?"

*sniffle* "That sounds purty good."

Buck up little camper. You had your last bump last night, so in a few hours it’s baby-time! (yeah, this was a spontaneous ‘cheer up’ from Waylon. He’s such a sweetie!)

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"Waaaaaylon! Git yerself in here right now! I’m done havin’ yer baby agin!

"But dear, my Ascendant-Os will get soggy..."

"I’m here Mother. I read all about childbirth in our Mayo Clinic Simily Health book. How can I help?"

Cleveland, I think you’re a bit young for this. Why don’t you go send your dad in? Oh, and stick that Simily health book under leg of the sofa. We’ll use it to prop the davenport up for a few years... until you’re older.

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"Huzzah! I have a new little brother! And he’s green, like me! We’ll be the best of friends growing up, I know."

"Kin you keep it down Cleveland? I’m done poopered out from all the spinnin’ and screechin’ of bringin that little green guy inta the world."

Waylon, who has finally wandered into the room, seems less than pleased about the new family member.

Oh, and nice hang time too Cleveland. Should we look into an athletic scholarship for you?

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May I have the honor of introducing you to our Spare to the Heir, Kasson Holldum. Blue eyes and red hair – no big surprise there. We’ll commit toddlerage in a couple days and find out if he’s a clone of Cleveland or not.

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Well, even if he does turn out to be a clone of Cleveland, Kasson’s already proving he has his own personality. Cleveland never spat up on anyone (but then, nanny Sophie took care of him most of the time and babies don't ususally spit up on the nannies) Of course, being the Spare to the Heir, Kasson is destined to have ‘issues’ no matter what.

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Cleveland brought his first friend home from school... and it wasn’t a townie brat destined to call him daily until he’s old and gray. This is Euphemia Retrorocket, Eugene’s youngest daughter. The Retrorocket daughters are cute little aliens who unfortunately missed out when the nose bus drove by. Thankfully plastic surgery can fix that now, once she’s older

::Strange, I seem to recall there being two of these ‘noodlehootchies’, as Mother calls them, here by the mailbox. One is missing now, and the remaining one looks terribly smug and full of itself.::

Talk to your dad about them Cleveland. He’s got some theories...

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{Whispering}"Just keep smiling and noddin at her joke Clevey. Gran Waters is my brother’s gramma-in-law and he says we really don’t wanna upset her."

{Whipsering back} "I totally understand ‘Phemey. Who knows what sort of bizarre form she might contort herself into."

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Adorable, aren’t they? I love the way kids hug each other. And they’re both such cute little buggers to boot. Alas, you and ‘Phemey are not destined to build a life together. No, as our legacy heir you are destined to marry an NPC, or a townie/uni babe at the least. Sorry Cleveland, we’re going to hold you for someone like...

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...this

Helllllloooo Nurse, er Delivery Babe. This is Shelby Zaidi. She’s got red hair, green eyes, definately kinda cute (bit of a weak chin though) and her first name fits in with my naming convention.

For some reason in this pic she reminds me of a lady Remington (a female version of Remington Harris that is, not the razor brand)

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"Pardon me Miss Shelby, but if I pay you an exceedingly large tip will you remain a friend of the family for the next few years as my eldest grows up and goes to college? We need a lovely female NPC for him to marry."

"Well Ah’d be delighted to Mr. Holldum. If you keep ordering groceries and tippin me this nice every time, Ah’ll be your friend for life. And not one of those annoying ones either, that call every other day askin about alien abductions and whatsuch."

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So Texas, you’ve got a little time off from the grind of the kitchen. What you planning to do?

"I’m gonna just peep around the neighborhood a bit and see what all everyone’s up ta. I’m gonna start with that cranky Vidcund guy mah sweetie is all buddy buddy with. I swear they's talkin about me when I ain’t listenin’"

I wouldn’t do that if I were you Texas...

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"Ohmahgawed! Didja see what that creepy Vidcund guy was doin? He was..."

No, his brother is the one that does that in the shower...

"I’m tellin’ ya he was..."

I warned you about peeping on Vidcund. Now he’s going to come over and beat your a##. I just hope that little Cleveland makes it inside before it happens. It’s not good for him to witness such violence while still young.

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See, I warned you. Here he is, huffing and puffing and ready for a fight. The only reason you’re not in a big tussle of dust right now is because your carpool is here for you. Now go put on the noodlesoother and get to work.

"Why do I gotta wear the noodlehootchie? I’m startin’ ta believe Waylon when he says there’s somethin’ not right about them things."

Trust me, you reeeeeaaaalllly want to wear the noodlehootchie... er noodlesoother today. Dang it, now you’ve got me doing it.

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"YeeeHaaw!"

Something good there Texas?

"You bet! There wuz a voice mail a blinkin’ on the phone when I got inta work. It wuz from the Yummy Channel! They done picked up ‘Grill of the Golden West’ fer a whole season! They’s buildin’ me a new set an everything. I gots the po-ten-shal ta be even bigger than that Lagassim guy they got doin’ the "Emersim Live" show every night.

Congrats Texas. With both you and Waylon platinum, things might be a little easier around here.

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Peacefully asleep... the only time Kasson isn’t being the tiny terror that he is. Stinky diapers, crying all time, puking on people. Complete 180 from Cleveland. Birthday time for you today Kasson. We’ll get you taking care of some of those needs yourself.

Another of the beautiful custom baby beds that confound my sims to no end when they want to put the baby in a crib autonomously *sigh*

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And now it’s time commit toddlerage with Kasson. The birthday parties are more for Texas than the kids. She’s popularity and her next LTW is to have 20 best friends. Besides, Waylon needs the friends as he fights his way to the top of the Science food chain.

"Happy Burfday dear Kasson!"

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And here’s our Spare to the Heir... a perfect clone (stat-wise) of Cleveland. D’oh! I guess someone forgot to go roll some random babies in CAS before he was born *whistles innocently* But he’s already proven that while he may be the same stat-wise, he’s got his own personality.

For the record, he’s an Aries with a Neat of 9, Outgoing of 9 (remember this), an Active of 6, a Serious of 3, and a Nice of 5

Oh, and I have to remember to change that toddler hair.

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Look! Lobster returns spontaneously to the house! This is Waylon’s second one, so we’re at L2(W2)

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Waylon handled getting Kasson to walk, talk, and tinkle on his own, just like with Cleveland. I have to wonder about those clothes though Kasson... are you trying to make a statement with those mauvey-violet overalls?

"Must... get... one... or three... more... skill... points... before.. bed... Birthday... tomorrow... sooooo... tired..."

Waylon, why don’t you wrap up teaching the Clone to walk and get your sons off to bed?

I really should change that toddler hair.

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Enjoy the happy peaceful times while you can Kasson. As the Clone... er... Spare to the Heir, it is your destiny to be forgotten at all times except when your birthday comes around. You won’t be in many screenshots and I really wont care what you do with your time, so long as you do your homework. I probably won’t even bother with getting you to earn skill points until its time to head to college. Hmm... now that I think about it, that sounds like a dang cushy life to have as a kid and a teen. Cleveland’s the one with it rough.

Hmmm... mauve overalls and pink pjs... he’s gotta be trying to make a statement

And I really really have to change that toddler hair.

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Finally Pollination Tech #9 wanders by; all the rest of his family has stopped by already. Let’s eavesdrop a moment, shall we?

"Do you know, girl, what the odds are that you’re one of my daughters? I’ve got girls all over the place. Boys too. I was a pretty busy pollinator in my day."

"Sorry, but I remember mah daddy and he weren’t green. An’ Aunt Elsie and Uncle Elmer didn’t mention no other green folks in the family when they was raisin’ me."

"Well, yes, but you have to understand how aliens are conceived..."

"Hey, mah son Cleveland is havin’ his burfday party in jes a little bit here. You interested in stayin for it?"

"I should actually be heading home. Jenny will be worried and..."

"There’ll be cake."

"Oh, well if there’ll be cake..."

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You shouldn’t have worried P.T. Jenny’s here for the party too. ‘Phemey is wandering around a bit lost. Don’t worry hon, the love of your life will grow out of diapers here in just a couple days.

It’s another of Texas’s rip roaring good times, so whizz those noisemakers, toot those horns, and hold your breath everyone as we wait to find out what aspiration our heir will be.

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Couldn’t you have at least bought new clothes for the transition, Cleveland? Ah well, here goes the roll…

*shake shake shake*
*rattle rattle rattle*
*roll roll clink*

::Wow, this is a great party. Everyone showed up for it, all my friends and family. I want a big family like this when I grow up. Lots of kids -- like 6 of them -- and grand kids too. And there’ll be lots of weddings and birthdays... ::

*/em Smack Head* Gaaaah... frelling family sim. I like family sims -- really, I do -- but after having so many of them in my original legacy family I’m sick to death of them. That’s getting fixed in college.

"Fixed? No, I gotta have kids first."

Must... not... boolprop... and... change... aspiration... now...

I do have to say that if I hadn’t fallen in love with Cleveland when he was doing the snuggly thing with his bunny-bear as a toddler, catching him in this gangly ‘newly teenified’ pose would’ve done it

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It’s an exciting day on the sprawling Holldum estate. Texas is off to her first day on the set of "Grill of the Golden West." Nice outfit there babe.

"Thanks. I done designed it myself. They wuldn’t let me put tha dancin’ grilled cheese sammich on the back though."

Gee, I can’t understand why... *snicker*

Cleveland, fresh from his first day of high school at SSSS, is already thinking about his future as a Family Sim. Poor passerby Lisa Waters has caught his eye as a possible mate. She’s both a player and a romance sim though (hey, but aren’t all romance sims ‘players’ in a sense?) so marriage will never happen for these two.

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"I’m not that interested in the marriage stuff right now, but the WooHoo would be pretty cool."

"WooHoo?"

"Well, we’re teen sims, so we really can’t WooHoo yet and since you’re a legacy sim, you’ll be old and gray the time Keth gets around to even thinking about letting me grow up. Although WooHoo with an old guy might be interesting. How about just a hot make-out session on the couch?"

"What’s WooHoo?"

Oy. Go talk to your dad Cleveland. He’s got a cake he’d like to tell you about.

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Well, apparently all his marriage talk hasn’t scared Lisa off yet. She’s hung around long enough for our heir to get his first kiss from her

::I could learn to like this kissing thing, I think.::

I’m sure you could. Lisa really likes the kissing thing too, but you’re not the only one she likes it with.

"You’re very good with this kissing Lisa. Have you done it before?"

"Er... ah... look at the time. I really should get home. Gran will be wondering where I am."

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For what he lacks in screenshots, Kasson makes up for with friends. If he’s playing with the bunny, he draws people like flies to honey. Both Texas and Waylon brought friends home from work and Kasson’s roped both of them into joining him at the bunny head. Cleveland would be here too, but he’s doing homework.

Texas’s cohort in cooking apparently sees a bright future for the boy.

Waylon is out scoping the skies, certain that he’ll spot Mr. Noodle’s secret base someone on the second Sim moon. His buddy Vidcund has been telling him to keep watching the stars because there is something out there. I’m sure there is V, and I’m also sure you and your brothers know all about it. *wink*

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What’s this? A birthday cake? Is it little Kasson’s birthday already? But where’s the party Texas?

"I’m plum bushed out from workin’ overtime on ‘Grill of the Golden West’. Mah pilot is gonna be shown in prime time on da Yummy Channel next week. I thought Waylon wuz gonna throw a party, but he wuz on the phone all night talkin’ wit Vidcund about some shootin’ star he done seen."

What about Cleveland?

"He keeps wandering around askin’ about WooHoo. Seems his little girlfriend mentioned somethin’ about it ta him and he’s all confuzzled now. I thought she looked like a little hussy when she was here the other night, bein’ all huggy and kissy with him."

Maybe it’s time to take that Mayo Clinic Simily Health book out from under the leg of the sofa.

"Is that what’s holdin it up?"

Yeah, it is. Now help Kasson blow out his candles so we can feed the boy and get him off to bed.

"Oh all right. Happy Burfday dear Kasson..."

Hmm.. I guess it’s a bit late to try to change that toddler hair.

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Beige bear and balloons pjs... well, better than the pink ones I guess.

"No party. Cleveland got a party. Why can’t I have a party too? Why was only Mom here? Where’s Dad?"

Because your dad’s been corrupted by the noodlesoother and is obsessed with finding their secret base. Your brother is obsessed with college and finding a girlfriend. So cheer up little trooper and eat your cake. Lots of sugar in the icing and caffeine in the chocolate. Too bad you’re too tired for it to have any affect.

Oh, and let’s drop by the mirror on your way up to bed. We still gotta change that toddler hair.

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We may sorely neglect and ignore our Spare to the Heir, but never let it be said we don’t love the little guy. Texas came all the way upstairs for the tuck in and good night kiss. First time she or Waylon has done that for either Cleveland or Kasson (Nanny Sophie does it all the time).

"Nite nite little Kasson-bear. Mama luvs you."

Say it with me now... Awww...

"Ewww... Kasson didja know you drool when ya sleep?"

*murblesnore*

Just leave him alone Texas so we can wrap this chapter up and all of us get some shut eye.

"Jes a minute. His hair’s all mussered up an’ I need ta pull the blanket up a bit more an’..."

As Texas fusses over her youngest, I think I’ll bring this chapter to a screeching halt. Next time we’ll discover just how turbulent a teenhood our heir has in store for him *grin*

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Onward to Chapter 4: The Turbulent Teenhood of Cleveland A. Holldum

Back to Chapter 2: Green Babies, Noodlesoothers, and Nannies