Chapter 28b: Salina's Wedding, Act I

Salina's Wedding, Act I

Night has fallen and that fateful time draws nearer. The guests are starting to show up for an intimate little ceremony for good friends and family.

Now if someone would just create a mod where the guests bring wedding gifts, we'd have it made.

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Now that everyone's here (and getting thoroughly liquored up. Open bar! Woo! Er...) Salina's put on her last touches and is ready to make her Grand Entrance.

Ignore the limo. Waylon forgot to call the lab and tell them not to send the car for him tonight. I keep tellin' ya, he's getting forgetful in his old age.

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So Salina, any last thoughts before you step inside and we get this organized chaos called a wedding underway?

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"Er, is it too late fer Cirrus an me ta run off ta Las Simgas an git hitched in one a them 24 hour weddin chapels there?"

Sorry, no eloping to Vegas for you two. Your mother would kill you for doing it, and kill me for letting you do it. You know it's not a good idea to cross Texas. But I sympathize. Putting on a wedding, even an 'intimate' little number like this, can be pretty stressful.

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Cirrus is certainly feeling it. Hopefully he doesn't get cold feet at the last moment.

"Do I still have the ring?" *checks all pockets* "Yes, its still there. Honeymoon tickets?" *checks all pockets again* "Yes, I have those. Clean underwear?"

Ah, we're going to hope you remembered those when you were getting dressed, Cirrus. And I don't think we want to hang around while you check.

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And, like most of the weddings I've been to, everybody's hanging out at the bar, working on a good buzz. I do hope the bartender is carding and offering virgin drinks to Omaha and Thor.

Oh, Salina's making her entrance... *pans camera*

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Gah, Salina, you invited Euclid? After all the stalking and killing your fiancé and all?

"Well I wouldn't be gittin married ta Cirrus at all if it weren't fer Euclid. So even is he is creepy and's gone all vampy an stuff it is sure weren't be right fer me ta not invite him. Cides, he's Phemey's brother and he were my good friend afore he went all weird."

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"Euclid, you... ah... ain't gonna go all weird and like kill my husband-ta-be agin or cause other problems, are ya? Cuz ya are my friend an I wert tickled pink when ya told me ya'd be here."

"I promise Lina, I'll behave. No fights, killings, or random bitings... at least not from me. While you are still mine, I am a patient man. If even death cannot keep you and Cirrus apart, then apparently now is not the time for us to be together."

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"Er... thanks Euclid... I think. So you ain't gonna cause us no problems?"

"I wish you nothing but happiness Lina. And I'll be there for you when you're not."

I don't know whether to be glad he's apparently buried the hatchet with Cirrus (and not in Cirrus) or concerned that he still has that creepy stalker thing going on.

"Oh scoot now Euclid. Yer sister's headed on over here."

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"Lina, darling! I'm so happy for you! And your wedding is even more fabulous than the Simmywood one I was at last month. And I caught your last game on satellite while Vasyl and I were flying back from the set. Sweetie, you're a natural. Whenever you want make the jump from soccer field to movie screen, you just let Vasyl and I know."

"Thanks Phemey. I'm so glad y'all were able ta make it. I know they got yer shootin shed-yule pared down pretty tight fer yer movie."

"Vasyl's uncle is funding the thing. They didn't have much of a choice but to allow us to attend. And you know I'd never miss your wedding, luv."

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We've got Simmywood's next superstar in attendance, but who else has shown up (not bearing gifts) for Salina and Cirrus' wedding? Shall we take a peek at the guest list.

We've already seen Euclid Retrorocket and his sister, Euphemia Retrorocket-McGaw...

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But we can't forget the groom himself, Cirrus White (and another shot of Phemey as well).

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Nor can we forget the parents of the bride, our own beloved Texas and Waylon, both looking very stylish.

The parents of the groom were... ah... unfortunately unable to attend.

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The brother of the bride and his... um... Cleveland, can we say that you and Veronica are officially dating? Something just sounds wrong about calling her your 'special friend'.

"Ah... well... you see..."

"Clevey sweetie, it's okay if she wants ta call me your girlfriend. I've been waitin a long time to be called that."

"Well..." *sigh* "Yes dear. Okay Keth, since Veronica's okay with it."

Heh. The brother of the bride, Cleveland Holldum, and his girlfriend Veronica Leong.

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The other brother of the bride, K... Gah! Bast in a Basket, Kasson! WTF is that on your face?

"Hey Babe. Well, you did like tell me to lose the scruff, so I totally went for something different."

I wanted you to get rid of it, not replace it with something with something worse.

"Sorry Babe, but you know that Keth totally digs the face fur. I couldn't get rid of it without, like, growin in something different."

Face Fur? Ewwwwww... *shudder* I'll make a deal with you. I'll let you get away with the new look for now if you promise to never use the term 'face fur' again. Ewww... *heebiejeebie tremor*

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Fortunately, the other other brother of the bride hasn't attempted to grow anything on his face yet (and some of us will be happy if he never does). He was pretty grumpy about the lack of cheese at first, until I pointed out the cream cheese mints on the snack table. I'll spare you the lecture he gave me about the 'corruption of his ambrosia' after he tried the first one. They're just mints, for pete's sake.

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The niece of the bride, Omaha Holldum. We managed to convince her to lose the hat for a while (maybe we can even get her to lose it completely once she gets to college). I just now realized that she and Orrin have complimentary formal outfits (pink and blue) Considering she spins up Orrin wants at the drop of hat (almost as much as she spins up wants for her other boys) I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

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And the nephew of the bride, Treynor Holldum, who is busy channelling the trauma of his broken home into interpretive dance. If it's not that, it's cleaning. Yeah, someone has HCCD bad.

That's all the family in attendance, but who are the other guests gracing us with their presence tonight?

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Veronica pauses a moment to pose with future Simmywood mogul Vasyl McGaw, husband to the lovely Euphemia Retrorocket-McGaw. Just a warning, that suit of his is blinding in an upcoming shot or two.

Vasyl has a deep seated enmity for the groom. I had to separate the two of them several times during the wedding.

Speaking of having to separate people...

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Sheesh. Can't I leave you two unsupervised for a minute? *facepalm*

Keth Wardenclyffe, main squeeze of the bride's other brother and good friend of both the bride and groom.

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Over at the kid's table, we have Salina's house sister and good friend Brittany Parker. We also have Omaha's date for the evening, Thor Beaker (son of Loki and Circe Beaker, if you couldn't guess by the nose).

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And this is... Ack! Who told the bartender he could partake of the party fixins? Hmm... this may be why drinks have been disappearing like hot cakes... one look at his mug and it'll drive you to drink. Anyway, this is Colin, the bartender, mooching free food.

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Finally we have the bride's other good friend, Countess Carla, who refused to remain in her everyday gown (which I thought was much more appropriate apparel for a vampire at a wedding). Carla definitely made things... interesting... at the wedding. I finally had to call up the gypsy and invest in a bulk quantity of Vamprocillin to keep up with her. Luckily no one had a breakdown from getting chomped. Poor Brittany got bit several times; next time she's staying because I think it's a sign that she's destined to be a vampire.

Of course, the one person I might've been okay with her chomping, she left completely alone.

"What!"

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"You're talking about me, aren't you? Dammit Woman, do you take some sick joy in tormenting me?!"

Actually, it's not like that Orry...

"See, you can't even speak to me without mocking me with that annoying diminutive. Every time I turn around, it's some new harassment. Locking me in a small, dark room for no reason..."

No reason? I warned you what would happen if you pushed my wrong button.

"Aliens abducting me because you forced me to wear that damned headgear..."

And I told you I was overdue for an abduction.

"Parading me around like your personal dress up doll..."

Your dorm happened to be a quick and easy lot to load when I was making clothes and needed to test them. Brandi got to parade around in the women's outfits.

"This whole cheese fiasco..."

You did that one to yourself. You couldn't wait till I had a chance to try to sort things out.

"Sending me to the treadmill every time I disagreed or voiced an opinion..."

You're always disagreeing with me. And you have no active points; your waistline expands at the drop of a hat. If you weren't constantly on the treadmill you'd be a little butterball by now. Besides, you're hawt when you're buff.

"By the Great Wheel of Cheddar, Woman! Did you just call me 'hawt'?"

Actually, the term that's been bandied about in comments is 'cute', but a lot of guys get all offended when they're called that. I don't think anyone would disagree too much with 'hawt'.

"Well I disagree! How am I supposed to supposed to be an imposing Evil Overlord and conquer this pathetic land under such abuse as what you heap on me?"

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If you'd give me a moment to explain, I'd like to point out that vampirization would only help you in your bid for overlordship. Think about it. Never aging, never getting ill, amazing strength and speed... yeah there's that whole liquid diet and no sunlight drawback, but that's what minions are for, right?

"Oh, and that's supposed to resolve any issues I may have with a two legged tick walking up and sucking the life out me, turning me into some night walking abomination of undeath? Because it'll further my quest for overlordship?"

Hey, your brother is one of those night walking abominations of undeath.

"Did it ever cross your mind that I have no desire to a vampire, much less a vampiric overlord?"

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Er... well... no. I kinda figured that since you were trying to work on the whole 'evil' aspect of it that vampirism would go along with it perfectly. My bad, okay? As it is, between your brother and Euclid there's two too many vampires running about anyway. But storyline, ya know? The things we do for the storyline.

"Well this is one thing I am not doing for your storyline!"

Fine, fine. Settle down. Let's not argue at your sister's wedding. We can talk about it later, okay?

"Assuming I'm talking to you later."

*sigh*

Well, as soon as Salina puts down her drink, she and Cirrus are going to going to start on the high point of the wedding. So lets all find our seats and as soon as we flip to the next chapter we can start the ceremony.

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