Chapter 28c: Salina's Wedding, Act II

Act II: Vows and Rings



"C'mon ever'body. Git yerself set down a'fore I have ta done start pickin seats fer ya. We cain't git this here cer-ee-moanee unnerway lessin y'all are settin down. Thor! You let one-a yer elders or one-a the ladies sit there. Yer young legs kin handle standin in the back. Don' make me tell yer mama Circe 'bout how I done caught you tryin ta sneak out wif my granchile Omaha the udder night."

"Yes Mrs. Holldum."

Heh. Texas is in her element, directing traffic at Salina's wedding. It's SRO here, so I think we're going to be stuck standing in the back. But we've got a great view of the ceremony, so let's hurry up and take our place.

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Pssst! SK! WTF are you doing? I don't think there are any seats behind the wedding arch. Now high-tail it out of the picture.

"I'm working on it. Kasson just stole my seat in the audience, the weasel."

Well, maybe you can sit on his lap or something.

"Or something. Heh. Well, I suppose I could, but we'd disrupt the whole wedding ceremony if I did."

Oy. *facepalm*

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Kasson, I figured you were enough of a gentleman to offer you seat to a lady for the ceremony.

"Like what lady, Babe?"

What's SK? Chopped liver?

"Oh. I thought you meant there was like some celebrity or something there. You know, someone like Bambi BoDean. She was the centerfold in the recent issue of Bubbleblowers Quarterly. I would so totally give up my seat for her. Or give her anything else she, like, needed." *eyebrow waggle*

"Kasson!"

Oh, you've done it now.

"What? Was it like somethin I said? Did you need a seat babe? There's still a couple up front. Or like there was until Treynor and Brittany totally stole 'em."

"Grrr... just don't talk to me the rest of the night Kasson."

"What? Why?"

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Yep, that's our Kasson. Not too swift on the uptake.

And Orrin, stop staring at your niece. It's creepy enough that she constantly spins up wants for you. You don't need to encourage her.

"I thought I wasn't talking to you anymore, woman."

*sigh*

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"Ya'll ready ta git this weddin started sweetie?"

"No. I'm so nervous I can barely think, much less remember my vows. My palms are sweaty, my tux itches, and my cummerbund is binding in inappropriate places."

"My stomach is done turning flip flops too. I guess that means we're purt near ready ta begin."

"I guess it does."

"I still cain't believe yer middle name is Homer."

"It was that or Odysseus, and Dad preferred Homer."

"I shure hope nobody laughs at it durin tha vows."

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*cue romantic wedding music*

"I, Salina Savannah Holldum, take you, Cirrus Homer White, to be my beloved husband, my faithful friend, and the love of my life. While apart we are strong, together we are stronger as love binds our hearts and souls together.

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"Cirrus, from the time you followed me home, through all our fights and joyous times, and even when the shadow of death hung near, my love for you has never waned. I may have tried to deny it, but in the end I recognized the truth. You are my life and love, and I am happier with you in it."

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"I, Cirrus Homer White, take you, Salina Savannah Holldum, to be my beloved wife, my faithful friend, and the love of my life. While apart we are strong, together we are stronger as love binds our hearts and souls together.

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"Salina, though I had known both joy and sadness before I met you, I did not truly begin to live until you came into my life. I did not realize how precious a treasure I have in your love, until my own life was nearly lost. It opened my eyes and opened my heart, and I cannot imagine a future without you. I adore you, and am honored to have you in my life."

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"Psst... Cirrus... it's ime-tay or-fay the ings-ray."

"Oh! Um... ah... right... yes... here they are..."

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"This ring is a circle; it knows no beginning and no ending....

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"Salina, I give you this ring as a symbol of my neverending love and as a reminder that I am always with you, even as you are always in my thoughts and in my heart...

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"May it announce to all the world that you are my wife."

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"This ring is a circle; it knows no beginning and no ending...

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"Cirrus, I give you this ring as a symbol of my neverending love and as a reminder that I am always with you, even as you are always in my thoughts and in my heart...

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"May it announce to all the world that you are my husband."

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Excuse me just a moment... *snufflesnuffle* *honk*

Sorry, sinuses...

Everyone, please welcome to Strangetown's newest couple, Cirrus and Salina White.

Psst... Cirrus... you can kiss the bride anytime now.

Oy, SK's still looking a little on the pissed side there.

And Thor, stop ogling the vampire's a##. Don't make me tell your mother.

---

Ah, now that's better. Can't have a wonderful wedding without a killer kiss to wrap it all up.

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Now if the rest of the attendees would just participate in congratulating the newlyweds. Come on you guys, where's the standing ovation?

And Thor, what did I just tell you about staring at the vampire's a##? If Carla chomps you you're so arranging your own vamprocillin. And boy, will your mom be pissed.

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"Congratulations, Mrs. White."

"Con-grad-yer-lotions, Mr. White."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Nah, but why don' ya kiss me agin, then ya kin tell me alla bout it."

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And so the draining of the open bar reception festivities begin.

It is a tradition that everyone has to swarm and hang around the bar, or is that just the weddings I've attended?

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There is, of course, one tradition that must be upheld. The cutting of the wedding cake (or, if you've been talking to Waylon, the woohoo cake).

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And since both bride and groom are neatniks, this is promptly followed by the traditional deep throating of the woohoo cake and fork.

"Open wide darlin"

"Urkk!!"

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Not to be outdone, Cirrus has his own groom's cake to cut...

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"Gakkk!"

"Heh. Open wide yourself, dearest."

Ah, paybacks...

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So let's kick this reception into full swing and...

Aw dammit, where the frell is Kasson? I can't turn my back on the boy for five minutes. The last thing I need is for him to turn Salina's wedding into another 'Cleveland Catastrophe'.

"I heard that. My wedding was not a catastrophe. Now the marriage..."

Well your wedding was filled with bawling, break ups, and everybody and his brother slapping each other. I don't think you want your sister's wedding to wind up the same way.

"You're right, Mouse Mistress. You'd better go track him down. Looks like he wandered off with Keth too."

Crap. All right Cleveland, I'm working on it. Why don't you go put on some music or something in the meanwhile? Maybe a little slow dancing with Veronica?

"Now that's an idea. Oh Veronica dear...."

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Hmmm... where the frell could they have wandered off to... ah-ha!

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Huh. Now just what is he up to out here? It's a bit late for fishing, and I don't think SK'd be too keen on it right now anyway. Not to mention it'd be kind of rude to Salina.

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"Aw babe, don't tell me you're like mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Kasson. Annoyed and a little frustrated, yes, but not mad." *sigh* "I don't think I could ever actually be mad at you."

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"Whew. I'm glad babe. Ya had me worried, because I've totally messed things up bad before. Real bad."

"Kasson, what the..."

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"And I so didn't want to mess up things really serious-like with the most important person in my life. Specially right now."

"Oh you are not doing what I think you're doing... are you?"

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"Keth babe, will you marry me?"

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"Ohmigod. Kasson, are you serious?"

"Babe, I don't think I've been more serious in like my entire life."

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"I should've totally asked you this long ago. Like way back when I first realized you were more than just a good friend to hang with. Or like back during that whole Brian thing. That's when it hit me that I was madly in love with you and I would totally do anything to keep from losing you."

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"I've been like planning this for a while now and hopefully I haven't totally screwed it up at the last minute. So... um... whaddya say babe?"

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"Gah, I never expected you'd actually propose, much less whip something like that out of your pocket."

"Heh. Well like what did you expect me to do?"

"I don't know... probably ask me something like 'hey, wanna move into this condo with me and share my bubbleblower?'"

"Babe, while that's totally an awesome idea, that is so not what I want. As long as I've got you, I don't need no bubbleblower. And all I really want right now is, like, maybe an answer... please?"

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*oof* "So like, is this a yes then?"

"Like I'd give you any other answer. I love you, you big goof. Now shut up and kiss me."

"I was wonderin when I'd get a chance to do that again."

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Well... let's give those two a little alone time. In the meanwhile, if you'll excuse me a moment, I need to go deal with a party crasher. Seems like someone forgot to tell Scary Sophie that Treynor didn't need a nanny tonight. That or she hoping to bump into her old buddy Orrin.

*pause*

Not even a snide comment out of him. He must be really pissed at me.

I'll meet up with y'all next chapter, okay?

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